Prom
by merder4everandever
Summary: Derek is voted Prom King. Meredith is voted Prom Queen. They have never met before, and do not like each other at all. But, what happens when they start to spend more time together? Will they realize how much they mean to each other? Told from Dereks POV.
1. Meredith Grey

**A/N: This is something I've been working on. It's a merder teen story because I flipping love those. And here's the basics…Meredith is voted Prom Queen, and Derek is voted Prom King. They have never met before, and at first, don't like each other at all. But, as they start to spend more time together, they realize how much they really mean to each other. Told from Derek's POV...oh and I'm in 8th grade so I've never actually gotten the high school experience. So if I'm screwing things up, just bare with me...oh and review, please?**

* * *

"Okay, so after you win, you should say a speech." 

I looked up at my girlfriend and snickered. "A speech? Addison, are you kidding me?"

"Aw, come on! Everyone knows your going to win, and it's always nice to have a little speech planned."

I rolled my eyes. Addison was always one to be 'well prepared'. "I don't need a speech. Teddy Flincher won last year and he didn't give a speech."

"You could start a legacy…think about it Der!"

As I was about to answer, Mark ran into the house. "THERE YOU ARE! THANK GOD I FOUND YOU!"

I looked my best friend up and down and couldn't help but smile. His hair was extremely messy, his shoes were untied, and his usually perfect clothes were ripped in half. "Dude, what the hell happened to you?"

He bent over, and placed his large hands on his knees. "Cindy dumped me because she found out I was hooking up with Lauren. So she yelled at me, and then threw me out of her house. So, I tried to climb back in through the fence and well…they had a dog."

I burst out laughing. Mark could sometimes be a complete idiot. "Why am I even friends with you?"

He smirked. "Cause I'm incredibly good looking and smart."

Addison crossed her beautiful, long legs and tucked a couple stands of hair away from her green eyes. "People, let's focus. Now Mark, don't you think Derek should give a little speech after winning?"

I saw Mark twinge a bit. "I don't think so. That's what the geeks do."

I nodded my head. This was exactly what I was trying to say. But, Addison always had to be in control. "Totally agree. No speech, not my thing."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her sigh in frustration then slump back in her chair. "Who do you think will win prom queen?"

I took a sip of my water and shrugged. "Lauren, Stacey, Vanessa, or Kristen."

Mark bobbed his head. "I'm voting for Lauren."

Addison raised an eye brow. "Hmmm, interesting choice. I sat behind her in calculus class once. She's not that smart."

Mark pulled out a chair from the kitchen and plopped in next to Addison. "No, she's not smart, she's…"

I completed his sentence for him, "Hot."

Addison rolled her eyes. "I am so glad I decided not to run. This whole thing is sexist!"

"You need to get the stick out of your ass, Addie, and learn to have fun."

I snickered at Mark's comment. He always laid it on thick with Addison. "As much of a jackass Mark is…I think he's right about this."

"Whatever…" Addison grabbed her books off the counter then headed towards the door. "Are you two idiots coming, or am I walking to school alone?"

I quickly slid on my backpack and followed Addison and Mark out the door. I leaned in over her shoulder and planted a giant kiss on her cheek. "Don't be so uptight babe. We're seniors!"

She sighed as her giant high heels clicked on the pavement. "I know, I know…but we're both going to different colleges Derek…this isn't fair!"

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and smiled. "We talked about this. Everything will work out."

She turned to me, her eyes welled with tears. "Promise?"

I grinned then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Promise."

* * *

During 5th period, I stumbled to my locker. I was late to class (AGAIN) and I could not afford another detention from Mr. Hogan. Besides, they were announcing the candidates for prom king soon, and I had to see who my competitors were. As I stuffed a few more books into my locker, I quickly closed the tiny compartment then raced to Mr. Hogan's class. Right as I approached the door, I ran into a tiny, blonde girl. 

"HEY! Watch it!"

I quickly bent down and picked up all her books. "Sorry, I'm late."

"Yeah, I am too." She snatched the books from my hand and quickly stood up. "Next time, watch we're your running." With that, she took off down the hall.

I shook my head at the ridiculous comment. Who was she anyway? I figured it was some snooty little rich girl who only cared about herself. As I gathered the rest of my books I hurried into class. Mr. Hogan looked up at me, his eyes dark and fierce. "Why, Mr. Shepherd nice of you to join us."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I ran into someone on the way here and I-"

"Principal's office."

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me. There is no being late in my class. End of discussion."

I cursed him under my breathe then slammed the door on the way out. This was the third time this week I was late to his class, and the third time I was sent to the principal's office. As I entered the office, the Secretary, Patricia, greeted me. "Hello, Derek. Late again?"

I smiled gingerly then took my seat next to the huge, white door. "Yeah."

She giggled then picked up the black phone hanging on the wall. "Mr. Webber? Derek Shepherd was sent here by Mr. Hogan. Can he come in? Great, thank you, sir." She hung up the phone, scribbled a note on a post-it then looked up at me. "He can see you now."

I ran a hand through my hair then opened the door.

"Derek, take a seat."

I dropped my books on the floor then slowly sat down in the huge brown, leather chair in front of his desk. "This is ridiculous, Mr. Webber. I bumped into someone on the way to class, helped her with her books, and was one minute, ONE MINUTE, late!"

"Derek, you have to learn to manage your time better. Tardiness is not acceptable."

"But I do manage my time! It's not my fault that he hates me!"

"He does not hate you. I'll talk to him about this, but until then, you have to abide by his rules. This is the third time this week Derek. If you get another detention…"

"I won't, sir. I promise."

He sat back in his chair and folded his hands. He then fixed his eyes on me. "You better not, or I'm afraid I won't let you run for Prom King."

My mouth dropped open. "What?! That's not fair!"

"It is completely fair, Derek. Manage your time, get to class a few minutes early, and you won't have anything to worry about. Got that?"

I stuffed my hands into my pockets, mumbled something barley audible, then nodded. "Sure, whatever…"

"Good, now hurry up and get to class. I will see you after school."

I gathered by books from the floor then stormed out of the office. This was completely unfair.

* * *

In study hall I carefully looked over my notes for my huge science test. I barely studied the night before, and was not doing so well in bio. As I turned the page, I heard someone giggle. It was a cute giggle…definitely a girl. I looked up and saw the same blonde that bumped into me in the hall. She was smiling and laughing with her friends, and I couldn't help but smile with her. She had the most amazing eyes I had ever seen. I didn't even notice them when we bumped into each other, and her smile definitely would take any guys breathe away. As Mark dropped his text book next to mine, I tilted my head towards the blonde and questioned, "Who is that, Mark?" 

He looked in my direction and shrugged. "I don't know, never seen her before."

"Neither have I…well I bumped into her earlier."

I saw him slowly tilt his head to the left. "She's hot; I have no clue why I've never seen her."

"Yeah…" I quickly looked back down at my notes. I had to study. I couldn't be thinking about some girl I didn't even know. Plus, she was a bitch to me in the hallway.

"Hey guys." Addison quickly sat down then kissed me. "What's up?"

I pointed at my text book. "Science."

"IZZIE 12 O'CLOCK!"

I turned towards Mark. "Huh?"

He pointed towards a tall, blonde, beautiful girl right in front of us. "Dude, she is so mine at Prom!" He rubbed his hands together and smiled devilishly at her.

Addison shook her head. "What happened with Lauren?"

"Oh she is so 2 minutes ago!"

I grinned. Even though Mark had the worst morals on the planet, he did provide some excellent entertainment. Suddenly, I heard Patricia on the loudspeaker and my stomach did a flip. "Students: the nominees for Prom King and Queen will read as follows…"

This was it. This was it. "Todd Hamilton, Alex Karev, Mark Sloane, Peter Jackson, and Derek Shepherd." I heard the crowd cheer and chant as each person's name was called. I turned towards Mark and burst out laughing. He did the same then shook my shoulders.

"Don't worry, dude, I'll tell everyone to vote for you."

I shrugged then smiled. Addison leaned in and gave me a huge kiss. "Congrats!"

I kissed her back then pulled away as the intercom began to roar again. "Students, students…the nominees for Prom Queen are: Marissa Harrington, Lauren Jessington, Isobel Stevens, Meredith Grey, and Kristen Buckington. Congratulations to all the nominees and good luck!"

I scrunched my eye brows together. I knew everyone on the list except Meredith Grey. I looked at Mark who seemed to be thinking the same thing I was. He shrugged, took a swig of his water, grabbed his books then started to head out. "Got to get to class. Congrats man…see you at my house later?"

"Yep."

After Mark left, Addison grabbed her books. "I better get going too. Call me later, okay?"

I nodded, kissed her on the cheek, then started to head out myself. As I walked to my next class, I couldn't get that strange name out of my head. _Meredith Grey, Meredith Grey, Meredith Grey_…

* * *

**A/N: So I'm obsessed with this fic., even if it's just the beginning. Please tell me what you think. Continue or no?**


	2. Mad to the bone

The next day went by surprisingly fast. I ended up getting a 96 on the science test and was not late to class, which was a huge accomplishment. But, thoughts of that girl kept swimming in my head. I don't know why I was so interested. I barely knew the girl! But, that might have been why she intrigued me so much. I didn't know her, and trust me, I knew _everyone_.

"Hey baby!" I smiled as Addison ran up to me and gave me a huge hug. "How did you do on the science test?"

"96!" I replied enthusiastically.

She congratulated me, wrapped her arm around my waist and sighed. "Let's do something tonight. Just you and me, boyfriend girlfriend."

I nodded, but for some reason was not that excited. "Sure. There's that new diner that opened across from 7 Eleven. We can go there tonight. I'll pick you up."

She smiled and was about to kiss me as the bell rang. She gave me an apologetic look when she spotted Mr. Webber heading our way. "Ugh. He hates PDA."

I grinned, gave Addison's hand a tight squeeze then headed to my next class.

* * *

I was bored out of my mind in social studies. Ancient Rome and the Indians definitely did not interest me. Even though my biology scores were slipping, that was my favorite subject. There was something about the body that attracted me. A force or drive that told me bio was _my_ subject. I was snapped out of my daydreaming when I saw the tiny blonde slide into a seat right in front of me, next to Izzie Stevens. She glanced at me once, then immediately let her eyes fall on Izzie who was staring intently at her. After taking her seat and gathering her papers, she turned to Izzie.

"Hi, my name's Meredith. Do you know what page we are on?"

Izzie smiled, told her the page number then attempted to start a conversation. "Hmm, Meredith? I've never seen you here before. Why not?"

They immediately got my attention. I was wondering the exact same thing. I saw her blush then slowly say, "I transferred here from the private school about a week ago. But, I know so many people here that it wasn't a hard transition."

Izzie's eyes lit up. "YOU went to the PREP?! Woo, are you freakishly smart or something?"

She giggled. That was the giggle I heard the other day at study hall. Damn, she had a cute giggle. "Well, I don't know. I just needed a change of pace. The prep was getting a little boring."

Suddenly, I heard the intercom turn on. All eyes fixed on the tiny box above the door and waited patiently for someone to start speaking.

"Attention students: Will all prom nominees for king and queen please come to the gymnasium. All prom nominees head to the gymnasium. Thank you."

I looked at my teacher who gave me the signal to go. To my surprise, the blonde got up as well. "Wait, you were nominated?"

She turned towards me, a little taken back from my question. "Um, yeah…why?"

"Oh, nothing I've just never heard of you before."

She rolled her eyes. "Well I'm Meredith. Curiosity satisfied?"

I cocked my left eye brow and forced a smile. Why did she have to act so stuck up? "It was just a question. Geez."

She completely ignored my comment as she hurried out of class. I sighed then followed. She was definitely rude, but why?

As the ten nominees filled the gym, my heart began to pound. Mr. Webber was standing in the center of the gym with five papers in his hand. He nodded in my direction. Was I late? No, I couldn't have been. I got to class 10 minutes early! I quickly started to think of all the possible mistakes I could have made in the last 24 hours. As I looked around the gym, everyone else seemed to be doing the same, except for Meredith. She was picking at her cuticles with a blasé expression on her face.

"Students…I bet your wondering what you are doing here. Well, I'm going to tell you. The PTA and I have been talking about ways you senior electives could help the school. They came up with a brilliant plan. Since you ten were chosen to run for prom king and queen, I think it is only fair that you help with this project. I will be splitting you up into groups of two and you each will have a tiny, but significant service project to do. This will help our school tremendously. Remember, it's the little things that count. Now, here are the groups. Laura and Mark, you two will be cleaning up the field. Alex and Izzie, you two will be cleaning the cafeteria three times a week after school. Todd and Marissa, you will be helping Mrs. Gustard in the office. Peter and Kristen, you will be helping the freshmen with their school work, schedules, and any other issues they are having. And finally, Derek and Meredith, you two will be cleaning the walls outside the school. Some students thought it would be fun to paint meaningless messages on the walls, and I want them gone. Your activities will last about a month. Everyone understood?"

Todd raised his hand. "I don't get it. How does any of this help us win?"

"It doesn't Mr. Hamilton. It is to benefit our school. To be prom king and queen is a privilege. If you do not follow up with these duties I will be sure to terminate your nomination. Are we clear?"

Everyone hesitantly nodded. "Good, now get back to class. Your projects will start next week. I suggest spending some more time with your partners. This will definitely help you in the long run. Thank you for your time."

As everyone gathered their books and back packs, I walked up to Meredith. "Hey, so I know we kind of got off to a bad start. But since we're working together on this thing it might be a good idea to you know…get to know each other more."

She stared at me with those gorgeous eyes of hers then shrugged. "I have piano on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, student council on Fridays and Mondays, violin on Thursdays, and on top of that I'm taking AP bio, geometry, calculus, and Old English. I don't really have the time to spend time with you."

With that, she headed towards the gym door. I shook my head, half amazed by how many activities she participated in and half amazed at how obnoxious she was. I wasn't going to take this. I couldn't take this. Derek Shepherd did not take crap like _that_! I hurried up to her and blocked her from walking. "What the hell is your problem?! All I'm trying to do is be nice but your acting all snooty and bitchy. I didn't do anything to you!"

She raised her eye brows. "I never said you did anything to me! I just don't have the time, okay?!"

"NO! You've been rude to me ever since I bumped into you. What, what the hell did I do?!"

I could tell she was mad. Her eyes, once a deep green, were now a fierce gray. "Okay Mr. Conceited, not everyone falls in love with you the moment they see you. I don't like you, and I know this may come as a shock, but a lot of people don't so back off!'

"BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! You have absolutely no reason to not like me!"

Everyone gathered around to see the fight we were having. I heard Mark snicker and immediately felt like punching him. What was this girl's problem?!

She threw her left hand up. "Whatever, I'm not wasting my time on you…go back to your perfect little life and be fricken prince charming somewhere else!"

She slammed the door on her way out and left me extremely mad and irritated. I had to work with this girl for a MONTH?! This seriously sucked.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for your feedback on the last chapter. I am seriously addicted to this story!!! Please, continue to review. It makes me want to update!! **


	3. Friends?

That night, as I tried to focus on my biology homework, I couldn't get Meredith out of my head. I was thinking about her a lot. Why did she hate me so much? Was I mean to her? No. Was I mean to her friends? No. Was I mean to _anyone_? NO! I twisted my pencil around in my hand and startled myself when the phone rang. I picked up nonchalantly and breathed into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Derek, are you coming to pick me up? I've been waiting for a half hour!"

I silently cursed myself. MY DATE WITH ADDISON! I had completely forgotten! "Oh my God, Addison I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I have so much homework and still have to study for my tests. Do you think we can do it another night?"

I silently waited for her response. "Sure, fine, whatever…I'll see you at school tomorrow. Bye."

"Addi-"

Great. She hung up on me. I quickly dialed Mark's number and when he answered I immediately screamed, "Meredith Grey is ruing my fricken life. I forgot about my date with Addison because I was too busy figuring out why Meredith hated me, I can barely focus on my bio homework, Addison is pissed, and this whole situation is really screwing me up!"

I heard him sigh on the other line. "Dude, you got a thing for her don't you?"

I immediately felt my cheeks redden. "WHAT?! MEREDITH! NO! She hates me! SHE'S A COMPLETE BITCH!"

"It's the chase man…you love the thrill of the chase."

I rolled my eyes. "Mark, I have a girlfriend."

"Look, I'm just pointing out the obvious. If you didn't have a thing for her you wouldn't care if she liked you or not."

I quickly defended myself, "We're working together for a MONTH! I do not want to be working with someone who will most likely sneak into my house and kill me while I'm sleeping."

"Now that's going a little overboard Shep…just talk to her."

"Meredith?"

"Yeah, ask her why she hates you. I'm sure she has an answer."

I hesitated. Mark did have a point. Talking to her couldn't hurt anything…could it? "Fine. I'll talk to her. But I want to make on thing clear…I do _not_ have a thing for her."

I heard him chuckle on the other line, "Whatever you say Derek, whatever you say."

* * *

The next day in between classes, I stuffed my books into my locker and glanced at the clock: 11:02. I had three minutes to spare. As I closed my locker, I was surprised to see Meredith right in front of me. I took a step back, a bit surprised to see her. But, I had to act pissed. It wasn't so hard to do considering I really was pissed. "What do you want?" 

She ran her long fingers through her golden hair and shifted on her feet. "Uhm, look I'm sorry about yesterday. I, I shouldn't have done that. You've done nothing wrong. It's just…well, my old boyfriend was exactly like you. Tall, handsome, popular, captain of the football team and everything…" she sighed then continued, "He ended up cheating on me with my best friend. I guess I've never really recovered from that…so I judged you. Which I know wasn't right, and I'm sorry." She avoided my eyes and looked down at her tiny feet.

I gave her a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry."

She looked up, her eyes wide. "For what? You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry about your boyfriend. That must've sucked. But, I would never do that with my girlfriend so really…I'm not like your ex."

She slowly nodded her head. "You have a girlfriend?"

I replied, "Yeah, three years now." She gave me a small smile then continued to look down at her feet. I couldn't tell if she was disappointed or just curious. I was hoping she was disappointed, and the weird thing was…I had _no_ clue why. I cleared my throat. "So uhm, I was thinking, maybe for extra credit or something we can start a week early on this project thingy."

She shrugged. "Sure. Like, today?"

"If you have nothing going on cause I know you're really busy…"

She smiled. "No, no…today is fine. Oh and I don't really take piano or violin. I just made that up."

A huge smile spread across my face. "You dirty liar!"

She giggled, "Shut up! I was mad and my hormones were all out of wack. But, I'm telling you now so deal with it."

I playfully shook my head. She was feisty. "Are you always this bossy?"

She grinned, "Maybe…"

I smiled then held out my hand. "Friends?"

She placed her hand in mine and that single touch sent shocks through my body. "Friends."

* * *

After school, I leaned against the graffiti colored wall and strung my fingers through my hair. We had a lot of work to do. As I looked up, I saw Meredith walking towards me. Her face was flushed from the cool weather, and a ridiculously huge sweat-shirt covered her tiny body. She wobbled side to side as she struggled to carry two giant jugs of paint. I grinned. She looked _really_ cute. 

"SHEPHERD, HELP ME OUT WILL YA?"

I ran by her side and took the paint out of her hands. "Too difficult for you?"

She stuck her tongue out at me and tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ears. "I'm not the strongest human being in the world."

"I can see that."

She glared at me. "Shut up."

I chuckled then gently placed the paint on the ground. As I stared at the wall, I took out several paint brushes from my back pack. "Okay we should probably start from the left side. Then we can work our way to the right."

She placed her finger on her chin and contemplated this. "Nah. We should go from the right first. It's easier."

"No, the left."

"No, I really think we should start from the right."

"The left makes more sense because there is MORE writing. Once we get finished that, its smooth sailing."

"EXACTLY! It will be easier to cover up the tiny spots THEN head to the big ones."

I shook my head. "No, we're starting from the left."

"OH MY GOD, START FROM THE DAMN RIGHT!"

"You know what Meredith, quit being so controlling!"

"I'M ONLY BEING CONTROLLING BECAUSE YOU ARE GONNA SCREW THIS UP!"

I raised my voice to match hers. Why did everything have to be a competition? "What's the big freaking deal?!"

"YOU'RE the one making it into a huge deal!"

"I'm not the one fighting about a stupid spot on the wall!"

"Everything all right over here?"

We turned towards Mr. Webber, obviously shocked to see him standing there. I quickly nodded. "Uh, yes sir."

He looked at me with a questioning look then faced Meredith. "Miss Grey? Everything okay?"

She shrugged her tiny shoulders, grabbed a paint brush, dipped it into the white paint, and started rolling the brush on the right side of the wall. "Everything is perfect, sir."

He nodded, "Good. Glad to see you two working early." We both smiled as he turned to leave.

After he left, she grinned then said to me, "I started from the right."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you guys SO much for those awesome reviews. I seriously cannot stop updating and thinking about this story!!! I was actually ready to post a new chapter three days ago, but my All I Need fic was DELETED from the site because it dealt with real people! I am so sad right now considering I worked SO hard on that fic and now its GONE! So to make a long story short, my account got a "time out" because of the restriction and wasn't allowed to update new stories for a couple of days. Ugh, I am so sorry to all my All I Need readers. I really do feel your pain considering I had big plans for that story coming up...but thats life. And life sucks. Anywhoo, as you can see, they really don't like each other. Even after they "attempted" to be friends, they really do not. But, I think that makes the story interesting. Please continue to review and tell me your thoughts!!!** **(plus I'm sad cause of my story being deleted, but reviews would definatley lift my spirtits:)!!!)**

**MeredithDerekfanforever- I know, I want Derek to break up with Addison too, but she is actually going to be a significant character in this story, and is going to be sticking around for awhile. ;**


	4. Secret

I dipped the paint brush into the creamy, white paint and tried my best to ignore the nauseating smell. I occasionally glanced at Meredith who had a dab of paint on her nose and cheek.

"You have stuff on your face," I said in the most cold-hearted way I could manage.

I saw her cheeks redden as she wiped off the paint. "You know, you're an ass."

"You're a bitch."

She let out a small laugh. "This should be fun then."

I smiled as I continued to paint the wall.

"DEREK!"

I turned and saw Addison standing a few feet ahead of us. Part of me was relieved. I thought she was going to dump me after that whole "I-forgot-our-date" thing but then again, the other part of me was unhappy, sort of let down. "Addison? Hey!"

Meredith turned around to see who I was talking to. "Who's that?"

"Addison. My girlfriend."

She quickly faced me, her eyebrows raised. "THAT'S your girlfriend?!"

I cocked one eye-brow, amused at why she was so surprised. "Yeah…why?"

"Nothing, she's just…really pretty that's all."

I grinned, was she jealous? "Yeah, why…jealous?"

"WHAT?! NO!"

By this time, Addison was standing in front of us. "Hey, I'm Addison Montgomery." She extended her hand out to Meredith who, to my surprise, shook it. "Meredith Grey…nice to meet you."

Addison smiled that genuine, warm smile of hers. "Likewise, do you mind if I steal Derek from you? We sort of need to talk."

I saw a coldness sweep over Meredith's eyes. "Um, well I guess…"

"Thanks! Talk to you later. Derek, grab your things then meet me in the parking lot." Before she left, she gave me a quick kiss. I wasn't completely sure but I could have sworn I saw Meredith roll her eyes.

After she disappeared from sight, Meredith wrapped her hair up into a tight pony tail. "So…you two are lovey dovey."

"Not really…" I replied as I gathered the rest of my things.

"Hah! That's a lie. But hey, good for you…if your into that sort of stuff."

After I swung my backpack over my shoulder, I looked her straight in the eye. "Why do you care so much?"

She stared right back. "I don't."

"Then why are you judging?"

"I'm not judging! I'm just not that into public display of affection…God, I'm not always out to make fun of you!"

Shaking my head, I mumbled, "Could've fooled me…"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me Grey…"

I saw her jaw clench. "For the record, my name is _Meredith_….NOT Grey, and I have better things to do then fight with you."

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Then why the hell do you pick these fights?!" I was trying my best to remain under control, but my patience was definitely running thin.

"I don't, I just, I just…" She looked down at her feet, her eyes pained. "You know what, I'll clean up here. You can go off with your girlfriend."

"But I-"

"No, it's fine. I'll see you at school tomorrow."

I hesitated before leaving, but knew it was no use. She wouldn't tell me anything. "Fine…"

As I walked away, I heard her pick up the wet paint brushes and stuff them into a plastic bag. I don't know why but for some strange reason, I wanted to talk to her more. She wasn't telling me something. She wasn't answering my questions. She was definitely hiding something, but what? And why did I care so much?

* * *

Addison concentrated her eyes on me as I picked at my salad. "What do you want Addie? You dragged me all the way here and haven't said one word."

She shook her head then took a long sip of her diet coke. "I don't understand. You have never, not once, forgotten about a date. Is there something else on your mind, Derek? What's been up with you?"

I shrugged. "It's nothing, probably just school and stuff."

She slumped back in her chair. "_Stuff_…what kind of stuff?"

"I don't know, prom stuff I guess…just stuff."

She slowly folded her hands and leaned closer to me. "Derek, if your hiding something…"

"What?! Addison, I'm not."

She stared at me for a few more seconds. "Okay, just making sure we're good."

* * *

I sank into my bed and placed my IPOD headphones into my ears. I was exhausted and didn't even bother to study for my math quiz. I quickly scrolled down to Secret by Maroon 5 and drifted into a deep sleep…

_I know I don't know you_

_But I want you so bad_

_Everyone has a secret_

_But can they keep it?_

_Oh no they can't_

"So Derek," Meredith questioned as she moved closer to me, "What are you doing tonight?"

I smiled then pushed the hair out of her eyes. I then crashed my lips against hers and slid my hands up into her hair. "I don't know, whatever you want," I replied in between kissing her. She giggled then ran her hands along my chest. "I have a few things planned…" She gave me a seductive smile that made me melt then kissed me one more time before taking her hair out of her pony tail. "I love you," she breathed as she kissed my cheek softly. I grabbed her face and pulled her into another kiss….

"DEREK!"

I quickly woke up from my dream and breathed heavily. "What?!" I called out to my mom in a shaky voice. Was I just dreaming about Meredith Grey?! No, this could not be happening!

"Time for school! You're going to be late!"

I ran a sweaty hand over my face and shook my head. "Be right down!" As I slipped on my jeans, I swallowed hard. I just had a dream, a very hot dream, about Meredith. I quickly snatched my phone and texted Mark: HELP! I then slipped my phone into my back pocket and ran down the stairs.

"Hey hunny, want breakfast."

I quickly shook my head then ran out the door to Mark's house next door.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Mark questioned as he locked his front door.

"I just had a dream about Meredith."

He immediately turned towards me, a smile plastered to his face. "What did I tell you…YOU'VE GOT A THING FOR HER! Was it a sexy dream?"

I felt my cheeks grow hot. "Kind of…"

By now, Mark was full out laughing. "OH DUDE!"

"SHUT UP MARK! THIS IS BAD! I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER!"

"Like who?"

I quickly turned around and faced Addison. "Oh uhm…my math partner. She's weird."

I heard Mark chuckle in the background. "Right, math partner…"

Addison looked between the two of us, confusion overshadowed her face. "Uh, okay well let's get to school." She grabbed my hand and led the way. I felt extremely guilty tangling my fingers with hers when I just had a dream about another girl! I shouldn't have listened to that song before going to bed. I shouldn't have been thinking about Meredith…GOD, Meredith! She was the one doing this to me! Driving me crazy with her stupid fake fights, her damn giggle following me every where I went! I hated her, I did. But I couldn't stop it. Her eyes, her laugh, her hair…they surrounded me everywhere I went. I had to get a new partner for this service project. I could not keep working with her. I just couldn't. I made a promise to myself that when I got to school I would march right up to Mr. Webber and demand a new partner…but I didn't. I couldn't. And that in itself scared the hell out of me.

* * *

**A/N: DUUU DUUU DUUNNNNN!!!!! Haha, so the dream thing. I love dreams, and Derek having one about Meredith was really interesting for me. Oh and Secret is a song that I have been obsessed with lately and I really thought the lyrics went perfectly with this scenario. (the lyrics were in italics) But anyways, if you want to read the next chapter you better press that little review button… **


	5. 5 Rules?

During lunch, I slid my tray next to Marks, avoiding Meredith at all costs. I quickly scanned the cafeteria to make sure _she_ wasn't anywhere near my sight. Thankfully, she wasn't. Mark slammed his book shut which caused me to immediately turn towards him.

"Alright Shep, I created some guidelines to help you avoid your obvious love for Meredith, and focus on the sexiness of Addison. Ready for this?" I hesitantly nodded my head. "Okay so I have 5 rules, memorize them…rule number one- don't bother sucking up to Addison, she already semi-hates you for forgetting about your date, that's not gonna change. Rule number two- when she calls you, you answer and run to her side, that's a run, Shep. Rule number three- you gotta get some sleep man! Do not waste your precious beauty sleep because of Meredith; you look horrible…so sleep where you can, when you can. Rule number four- if you're having relationship issues, do not wake me up from _my_ beauty sleep because if your relationship is already dead from the start you would've woken me for no good reason, are we clear?"

I shook my head at all of these ridiculous rules. "What's rule number five?"

Mark grinned then gave a seductive smile to a hot freshman. "When I move, Derek…_you _move!"

* * *

During free period, I scanned over the "5 Rules of Mark Sloan." Rule number one, I could definitely do. I usually never sucked up to Addison, why start now? Rule number two, that could be manageable. Rule number three…that was the tricky one. How could I stop thinking about Meredith? She was everywhere, all the time, saying things…messing with my head! How could I forget about her? 

"The 5 Rules of Mark Sloan? What the hell?!"

I quickly folded the paper up and stuffed it into my back pocket. "Shut it Meredith…" See? _EVERWHERE_!

She laughed then plopped down next to me, that intoxicating scent filling my nostrils. "You smell good." Wait; no…I did not just say that. YOU SMELL GOOD?! That was something maybe George O'Malley would say, but me? Derek Shepherd? No way!

She turned her face towards mine. "Uhmm…thanks?"

I shot a quick, nervous smile then ran my clammy hands through my hair. Why did she make me so nervous? "What are you doing here?"

She rolled her neck to the left then massaged her shoulder with her hand, pressing hard and firm. "No reason. Are we working after school today or do you have a date with little Miss Perfect?"

It took me a few moments to realize who she was talking about…Addison. I drummed my fingers against the table and replied, "FYI- she is not perfect, and you have absolutely no right to speak about her in that way."

"Oh cool it Derek. It's not like I called her a skank. Lighten up…"

I shook my head, allowing my eyes to drift towards the crystal clean windows. "Whatever…"

I heard her sigh. "Can we just do this one thing without arguing?"

A small, compressed laugh escaped from my mouth. "You're the one who wants to argue, not me. In fact, the one thing I want to do is get a new partner." As soon as I said those words, I immediately regretted it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

She scrunched her eyebrows, her green eyes glazed over. "Oh…well, if that's what you want, then maybe we should get new partners."

"I, I didn't mean it like that…"

"No, it's okay. I'll work with Karev, you can take Izzie. I kind of know Alex so it won't be that awkward. Yeah, I'll go talk to Mr. Webber right now."

The chair screeched as she slid it out from under the table.

"Wait, Meredith, don't…I don't want Izzie, I want you." Well, that _was_ true.

She stopped herself from walking away, then swallowed hard. "You sure? I mean, I know I can be a jerk sometimes…"

I grinned in spite of myself. "Well I need some drama in my life, so it's refreshing."

"No drama with the girlfriend? Shocking."

I gave her a small smile. "Let's just say there's not much to fight over."

"Hmmm," She gathered up her books then started to head out. "Now there I disagree."

* * *

"Alright so the orange or the pink?" Addison held two gorgeous dresses up to her curvy body. We were at Tickle Me Pink, a dress store downtown, and so far…I was not enjoying myself. I mean seriously, how would you feel if you had to sit at a boring dress shop (WITH NO TV!) and watch your girlfriend pick out a prom dress? It gets nauseating. 

"Uh, they are both really pretty."

She rolled her eyes. "I know, I picked them out…but which one looks prettier on _me_?"

"Uh…" I yawned, "I liked that blue one you tried on earlier."

She raised her eyebrow. "Really? I thought that made my hips look big. Plus, Sylvia and Tiffany are wearing blue and I want to stand out, not blend…you know?"

I nodded. "Oh yeah, I get exactly what your talking about."

She smiled. "Aw, I love your sarcasm."

"Addison, no offense, but this is really boring."

Her smile faded into a frown. "It's PROM Derek! The second biggest night of our lives, next to marriage…I mean, this is huge! And since you are my boyfriend I want to get your approval on my dress."

"I know, I know but how about you surprise me? That would be fun."

"NO, it would not be fun! Stop trying to change my mind. My hormonal level is through the roof right now. Don't test me Derek!" She slammed the door to the changing room and yelled, "I'M GETTING THE ORANGE ONE JUST SO YOU KNOW!"

I slumped into my chair. Growing up with four sisters, I was used to this. The constant mood swings, the talking faster than a car traveling 90 mph, and that really freaky telekinesis power that all girls possess. I swear to God, they always know when you're hiding something. "Okay, good to know."

"I'm going to try it on again because I do not think you were paying attention when I came out the last time." Damn, that freaking telekinesis power!

Suddenly, the tiny bell on the door began to ring softly. As I turned my head, there was Meredith. She was with Izzie Stevens.

"Hey Derek!" Izzie smiled as she waved at me. "Shopping for a dress?"

I heard Meredith snicker. "Hah…no, I'm here with Addison."

"Oh that's cool. I'm helping Meredith choose a dress. Can you believe she hasn't gotten one yet? I ordered mine two months ago!"

Addison quickly opened the door, the beautiful orange dress hugging her hips. Gold, satin straps outlined her shoulders and the hem of her chest. As she turned around, the dress swooped down, revealing her slightly tanned back. Tiny gold straps criss-crossed a few inches below the nape of her neck, and the gorgeous satin material floated against her skin. "So…what do you think?"

Izzie squealed, "OH MY GOSH ADDISON, YOU LOOK LIKE A GODESS!"

I smiled, "You look gorgeous Addison."

She grinned, then clapped her hands. "I'm so excited! Now I just need to get shoes, make up, jewelry, some accessories, then I'm done!" Oh yeah, another trait of girls was the ability to shop till' you drop.

Meredith chewed on her bottom lip. I could tell she was intimidated by Izzie and Addison. They were fashion savvy, and she was way simpler. "Iz, I don't think there's anything in here for me…"

"OH NONSENSE! Here, try this one on. It'll go great with your skin!" She shoved a green dress into Meredith's hands and pushed her into a dressing room.

I sighed as Addison grabbed her dad's credit card. "Don't you have money?"

"Dad said since I got straight As, I could use his card! How cool is that?!"

I shook my head, grinning. "God, your parents love you!"

"Okay, Izzie, I'm coming out and you can not make fun of me!"

I turned towards Meredith's dressing room as Addison paid. I was curious to see what she would look like in a dress. After all, none of Mark's rules said I wasn't allowed to look.

Izzie rolled her eyes, then continued to tap her Gucci heals. "Meredith, I would never make fun of you! Plus, I bet you look great!"

As the door began to open, I felt my heart stop. A tight, but fitting light green dress draped over Meredith's body and cut into a V-neck, revealing just the right amount of cleavage. Green straps, a shade darker than the dress, criss-crossed in the front, covering her belly. But what really left me breathless was the back of the dress. Thick straps criss-crossed down the front of her back, leaving the rest of it completely bare. I could not believe how beautiful she looked.

Izzie screamed, "MEREDITH! WOW!"

I saw her blush as she ran her fingers over the silky material. "You really think so?"

Izzie laughed, "OH YES! We are buying that! I don't care how much it costs! WE ARE BUYING THAT! Doesn't she look _sooooo_ good Derek?!"

I could not tare my eyes away from her. "Yeah, you do."

She smiled shyly. "Thanks."

As I continued to gape at her beautiful figure, something clicked inside me. It didn't matter how pretty the _dress_ was, the only thing that mattered was how beautiful the _woman_ wearing it was.

* * *

**A/N: I SAW ENCHANTED ON WEDNSDAY! IT WAS AMAZING! GO AND SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST DISNEY MOVIE EVER!!! Greys was good too! (HATE HATE ROSE THOUGH!)!!! Since it doesn't come on for another 2 weeks, I'll probably have some more updates for you! I really love this chapter! It's my favorite! Tell me what you think!!!! Oh, and did everyone get that Baily symbolism at the beginning with her 5 rules? I hope you did! Anyways, review cause I worked really hard on this chapter and its the day after thanksgiving!!! **

**P.S: On my profile, I have Addison and Meredith's dress up there! **


	6. Screw up

"Okay what's the atomic symbol of Potassium?" Mark questioned as he skimmed through our science books.

I threw my mini football back and fourth in my hands. "K…next one?"

He sighed, rolled his neck, then said, "Radium…"

"Rd?"

"Yep…I'm tired of elements Shep, let's do something fun." He rolled off the bed, grabbed my binoculars off my nightstand and ran towards the window.

"Mark, what are you doing?"

He brought the binoculars up to his eyes and grinned. "You have some hot neighbors!"

"ARE YOU SPYING ON THEM!?" I snatched the glasses from his hands and threw it on the nightstand. "If they ever caught you, you'd be arrested for stalking and SPYING!"

"Oh come on Derek, they're never gonna know plus they're not naked…" a mischievous grin appeared on his face, "Yet…"

I rolled my eyes in disgust. "You're pathetic Mark."

He began to say something then focused his eyes outside the window.

I slowly sat down on my bed, causing the springs to creak. "What are you looking at now, a naked 15 year old girl?"

He turned towards me, a huge smile plastered to his face. "Actually…I'm looking at Meredith kissing some dude."

I jumped off of my bed faster than I have ever jumped off anything before, and ran up to where Mark was leaning against the window. And sure enough, there was Meredith…practically making out with my neighbor across the street. "Oh my God…that's RYAN STUPINSKI! He goes to the stupid prep…"

"You know him?" Mark questioned.

"He's my neighbor…we've never gotten along well though."

"Why?"

"When I was 13, I asked his 12 year old sister out, and well…yeah, he's hated me ever since."

The smile on Mark's face softened. "Well now he has your girl."

"What? No he doesn't…I'm with Addison."

He raised an eye brow. "Not in your dreams…"

"Okay shut up now."

"Dude, what are you doing? Go down there, punch him out, and give Meredith one, hot-"

"No! There will be no punching and most definitely no kissing." I looked back down at Meredith, and this weird feeling overwhelmed my stomach. I thought she broke up with her boyfriend. I thought she was single. I thought she was "hurt". Turns out, I was wrong. And trust me; there is nothing worse than being wrong.

* * *

After school the next day, I waited patiently for Meredith at the graffiti infested wall. I checked my watch, she was ten minutes late. "Come on Meredith, where are you…" I took out the paint and brushes then placed them neatly against the wall. 

"Hey…"

I looked up and saw Meredith walking towards me. "About time you got here…your ten minutes late!"

"I know I know…I had to stay and do some stupid extra credit thing for math. I swear Mrs. Burns is-"

"Look Meredith I'm not here to make small talk, I'm here to work so come on, lets just get this done…and the next time your going to be late, do me a favor and let me know…" I didn't mean to come off so cold, but I couldn't help it. She basically lied to me.

"Woo…what's your problem?"

"Oh nothing, I'm perfect actually. I'm a great boyfriend, a great friend, I don't lie, I'm not a man whore…"

"Okay, where are you getting with this?"

I paused then stared at her for a moment. "I'm just saying…I don't jump on every girl I see."

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I _jump_ on every guy I see?!"

"I saw you with _Ryan_ last night…" The name in itself made me want to vomit. "I thought you were hurt and sad, well I guess I was wrong. So that only doesn't make you a slut, it makes you a liar…you're a slutty liar." Oh man, I was so going to regret this…

Her cheeks were burning red, and her eyes were a fierce, dark gray. "OKAY FOR YOUR INFORMATION, RYAN HELPED ME THROUGH A LOT AFTER MY BOYFRIEND _CHEATED_ ON ME! AND HE IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS! GOD DEREK DOES THIS AMMUSE YOU? PUTTING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO PLEASE YOURSELF! YOU KNOW WHAT…JUST BECAUSE YOUR UNHAPPY, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME UNHAPPY! SCREW YOU!" With that, she stormed off…leaving me alone.

* * *

"Mr. Shepherd, what is the answer to number 15?" Mrs. Burn asked. 

I didn't answer, I barley heard her. I was too busy thinking about Meredith and our stupid fight caused by stupid me!

"Mr. Shepherd? Mr. SHEPHERD?"

I looked up. "Oh uhm, sorry…I got 132."

She shook her head in the 'I'm extremely unhappy with you' sort of way then placed her hands on her thick hips. "Pay attention Derek…can anyone tell me the _real_ answer?"

Addison hesitantly raised her hand, her eyes fixed on me the entire time.

"Mrs. Montgomery?"

"I got 142."

"Nicely done." As the teacher turned towards the black board, Addison tapped me on the shoulder.

"Everything okay, Derek?"

I nodded, avoiding the look in her eyes. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You seem so off."

Finally, the bell rang. I gathered my books then kissed her. "I'm fine Addie, really I am."

* * *

"Okay so let me get this straight…" Mark popped a French fry in his mouth as I spilled everything about Meredith (not in the presence of Addison of course), "You called her a slutty liar?" 

I nodded, shame taking over my face. I was an idiot.

"Hmmm, well, no offense, but that probably wasn't the best thing to say to her."

"I KNOW MARK!" I could not believe him. Wasn't he supposed to make me feel BETTER about myself?!

"Okay, okay…I'm not judging, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this. I mean you shouldn't be _this_ jealous…you're with Addison and she's with Ryan, no big deal."

"But it IS a big deal to me! I don't know why, this is so effed up!"

Mark placed his hand under his chin. "I'm so sorry man…you really got yourself into a huge mess."

"Mr. Shepherd?"

I looked up to see none other than Mr. Webber. "Yes, sir? Is something wrong?"

He nodded. "Yes, Meredith came by my office today and requested a new partner. She wouldn't discuss it but she seemed pretty adamant about having someone else to work with. Now I don't know what happened, but I have to reassign you."

"W-what?!" A new partner?! This couldn't be happening!

"I'm going to assign you to Izzie Stevens, got that? You'll be working with her from this day forward."

"But…do I get a say in this?"

He looked at me long and hard. "_Should_ you get a say in this?"

I felt my cheeks flame up. "Uhm, no sir, I shouldn't…"

"Alright then…I'll see you later Derek."

I turned towards Mark. He gave me an apologetic smile then patted me on the back. "Sorry…"

Wow, I really screwed myself over this time.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so I'm going through this phase where I hate Derek. So yeah, I wrote a fight scene, and I actually really love it! haha, review and tell me your thoughts! **

**I KNOW 2 UPDATES IN ONE DAY!!!! IM SO PROUD!!!! **


	7. So fricken dead

When I was five years old, my mom would always take me to the zoo to see the koalas. They were my absolute favorite animal. I loved everything about them. Their color, their ears, and how well they could climb. I would talk to them about everything; school, family, and even about how much I hated the lions. And boy, did I hate those. Who did they think they were? They didn't rule the zoo, and to me, they most certainly were not the kings of the jungle. Anyway, when I took my friends to the zoo for my sixth birthday, the koalas were gone, vanished in the blink of an eye. That night, I cried to my mom. It felt as though I lost something that was apart of me. That I lost my best friends, and I hated that feeling. I even remember chucking my koala beanie babies at the neighbors whenever I got _really_ upset. I just didn't want to be alone. But then again, who does? Maybe that's why I'm still with Addison. We've been each others security blankets for three years now. The first year, it was puppy dog love. She would follow me everywhere, and we would always hang out together. The second year, it got a little more serious. The third year, well…I just don't know where we're going. The cycle keeps repeating itself and I don't want that. I want to move forward, I want to move on, but I'm so afraid of being alone. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dependent. I just want that person with me, even if it is Addison, I just want _someone_. And the worst thing about this relationship is I know she feels the same way. We don't love each other, we don't really want to be together, but we have to be. It's the status quo and you do not mess with that. I guess that's just how life works. You keep what you get and never let go, because if you do, you might never get that back again. But the real question is…do I even want it back?

* * *

"How's your service project with Stevens going?" Mark questioned as he bit into his candy red apple. 

"Ugh…she hates me. Apparently Meredith told her about everything. So she is always making these stupid comments and being a total bitch. But, I deserve it."

"How about Meredith? Talk to her?"

I shook my head. "Nope…she won't even look at me."

"It's been two weeks and you haven't said one word?!"

"Well I can't say anything to her cause I caused this and she won't say anything to me because she has way too much pride, so I predict we will never talk again."

"Mr. Shepherd?"

I turned around and saw Mr. Webber standing right across from me. What did he want now? "Uh, yeah?"

"Can I see you in my office…_now_."

I rolled my eyes at Mark then entered the large office. "Take a seat Derek."

I slowly sat down. "What's this about?"

He handed me several papers, which I soon figured out were my tests in English, math, and bio. "Okay?"

"Derek, take a look at your scores. You were an A student, now your down to a C. What the hell happened?"

I ran a hand over my face. It's not that I wasn't studying, I just couldn't concentrate. Meredith occupied 95 of my brain and the other 5 was how I could make it up to her. "I, I don't know. I guess I have to study harder."

"Your damn right you have to study harder. You think your going to get into NYU with those scores? Yeah, you were already accepted but I'm telling you Derek they will take that acceptance letter right away if they see you slipping. Hundreds, no thousands, of people apply to that school from all over the world. They will be thrilled to take your spot away. Wise up Derek, or you will not be accepted and you sure as hell won't be running for prom king."

I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I felt as though I was about to explode. I always kept my feelings bottled up, and now I just wanted to scream. "So what if I bombed a few tests? That does not make up for all of my other tests which I did well on! You know what Webber you are just looking for ways to fail me or take things away from me! You've already taken Meredith away and now your about to take my NYU ACCEPTENCE LETTER?! God, you are just bitter because I am going to make use of myself. I am going to be successful! And there is nothing you can do to take that away from me! I earned that spot at NYU, I worked my ASS OFF to get in their and now your saying your going to TAKE THAT AWAY?! You have no right to say that to me and I sure as hell have no obligation to say anything to an ass like you!" With that, I stormed out of the office, slamming the door hard on my way out.

* * *

_Detention, suspension, explosion, death_…all thoughts that ran through my mind as I walked back home. I didn't even bother going back to class after my blow up with Mr. Webber. I just left school. Dammit, I left school! I have never skipped like that before and I have never ever EVER blown up like that in front of Mr. Webber. Oh man, I was dead. I was so fricken dead. I wasn't going to NYU. I wasn't finishing out the remainder of high school. I was dead. So damn dead. I swung open my screen door and to my complete shock, Mr. Webber was sitting right in my kitchen with my mom and dad. Like I said, I was so so dead. 

"DEREK WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" My dad screamed after Mr. Webber left our house.

I lowered my head. "I'm sorry, I just blew up."

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! I CANNOT BELIVE YOU!"

"TOM CALM DOWN!" My mother yelled. "Calm down! It's not the end of the world! You heard what Richard said!"

"OH I heard what he said alright…I heard him say that my son, MY SON, got in his face and TALKED BACK, oh I'm sorry, SCREAMED BACK to him! You make me sick Derek, have we taught you nothing?! You cheap piece of shit, you put our family to shame you son of a—"

"TOM! TOM, STOP! EVERYONE STOP! This is getting way out of control!"

I could feel the tears building up, but I couldn't cry. Not in front of my dad. "I said I was sorry."

"YEAH WELL SORRY IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH! You might be EXPELLED DEREK!"

"Now wait a minute Tom, do not scare him!" my mom said as she turned towards me, "Derek, he said that he thinks you are a really nice boy, and he respects you. He understands how tough high school can be and said you probably just had a bad day."

"Don't sugar coat it Maria! He said he isn't sure the punishment but expulsion is definitely an option and to tell you the truth, I don't blame him!" My dad's eyes were flaming red and I felt completely naked. Stripped from my dignity, completely, totally bare.

"I'm sorry…" I choked. I took a deep breathe, trying desperately to stop the stinging in my eyes. "I'm sorry." But the tears ceased to go away, and down they fell.

My mom wrapped her arms around me and patted my head. "Shhh, baby it's okay. Don't cry."

My dad shook his head, muttered something barely audible, then stormed out of the house. "Your sisters would _never_ do something like this!" he screamed right before he slammed the door. He was right. I was the no one in the family. I was the failure. I was the cheap piece of shit that put my family to shame.

* * *

I stared out my bedroom window and closed my eyes. I couldn't sleep. Not after the day I had. Finally, my phone started to ring. 

"Finally! Mark, I told you to call me over an hour ago!"

"Football practice got held up. Now what happened?"

"I yelled at Mr. Webber, like, really yelled. I even called him an ass. And now I could be expelled and I am probably not running for prom king and I will most likely not get into NYU because I bet Mr. Webber is going to write them an e-mail saying how they should take away my acceptance letter. And uhm, let's see anything else? Oh yeah my dad hates me now. He called me a cheap piece of shit. My life officially sucks."

The other line grew dead quiet. "Mark? MARK?"

'Oh my God' were the only words I heard that night.

* * *

**A/N: Okay so this was a lot of Derek. I know that and I did that on purpose. And this whole yelling at the principal thing really does have a purpose because that's going to play a pretty big part in the next chapter. (which will be FILLED with merder by the way.) But I couldn't just start a chapter with them talking and acting fine because he did call her a slutty liar and Meredith would definitely not take that. So yeah Derek is in trouble…big trouble. Who will help him? Meredith? Mark? Addison? Press that tiny review button and you will soon see…**

**oh and also, everyone knows that one of the main resons Derek 'blew up' was because of Meredith. Yah so thats going to play a big part in the next chapter as well. **


	8. Tutor

The next day at school, all eyes were on me. Apparently, word got out about my blow up and now everyone was giving me sad, sympathetic looks. I hated it. I hated the attention. I tried my best to ignore the lingering eyes but believe me; it's harder than it looks. (No pun intended.) As I slammed my locker shut, I was startled to see Meredith right in front of me.

"Oh, wow…didn't expect you," I said.

She sighed, tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ear than slowly said, "I heard what happened, about you and Webber. I'm so sorry Derek…"

"Does the whole school know?!"

She shrugged. "Basically. I heard it from Jenna who heard it from Andrew who heard it from Stephan who is best friends with Lauren who is Addison's friend, and Addison heard it from Mark."

"Mark…" I mumbled, "Of course."

She looked at me long and hard. "Are you okay? I mean, that really sucks."

"Could be better…" I replied dryly. "And uhm…I'm sorry. You're not a slutty liar."

A small smile appeared on her face. "Hey, no hard feelings. I've been called worse."

"Yeah but I really shouldn't have done that. You and…Brian...that's none of my business."

She nodded. "Yeah well its okay. Plus it seems like karmas going to come back and bite you in the ass."

I smiled. "That's true."

She laughed. God, she had such a cute laugh. "How's Izzie?"

"Oh man…she hates me."

"Yeah I kind of told her to, but I'll put in a good word for you."

I grinned then looked straight into her gorgeous green eyes. She did the same and for that split second, everything seemed to disappear. It was just her and I. There was no Brian. There was no Addison. I slowly leaned in, and to my surprise she did the same. There would've been definite kissing if some stupid freshman didn't knock into us. He pushed Meredith right into me and I automatically fell back onto my locker.

She quickly pushed her tiny body off mine. "Um, well I uhm…yeah, I got to go. So I'll uhm see you later?" she stammered.

"Uh, yeah sure…"

"Bye."

"Bye."

Wow. Talk about awkward.

* * *

After first period, I mustered all of my confidence and stepped into Mr. Webber's office.

"Mr. Webber? Are you busy?"

He looked up from his paper work and removed the glasses resting gently on his head. "No not at all. Take a seat."

I slowly sat down then quickly folded my hands. "Look, I am so sorry. I should've never done that. I was having a really rough day. I have just been so stressed with school lately…I'm sorry. And I understand if you want to expel me. I will respect any decision you make because I was completely out of line."

He looked at me long and hard. "Derek, I'm not going to expel you. It happens. Being a teenager is tough, I understand that. I forgive you."

He could see I was in complete shock with his answer and gave out a small laugh. "Derek, I am not going to punish you. But, I do want you to get a tutor for the subjects you're slipping in. It may not seem like it, but I do care about you. You have always been an A list student and have treated me with complete respect ever since you walked through those doors freshman year. You are allowed to have one day where you can yell at me. But, if it happens again so help me God…"

"It won't sir. I promise."

"Alright then, I will assign you a tutor and get back to you this afternoon."

"Thank you sir. Thank you so much!"

I shook his hand firmly then ran right into Addison as I exited his office.

"Oh hey Derek, how did it go?"

I gave her a huge smile. "He's not punishing me! All I need to do is get a tutor and that's it!"

"Oh my God that's fantastic!"

"I know…I can't believe it."

She grinned then gave me a quick kiss on my cheek. "I got to get to class but I'm so happy for you. Are you going to Chris Evan's party tonight?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I heard he invited every single senior. The guy is nuts."

"I know it's going to be so huge."

"Well I'll pick you up with Mark."

"Okay, see you tonight!"

"See you." I gave her hand a tight squeeze then went to my locker to collect my books. As I gathered my history books, I stopped. This was the same locker where Meredith was pushed up against my body. This was the same locker where we almost kissed. I quickly wiped the images out of my head. It wasn't going to work. I was with Addison, she was with Brian. I couldn't keep thinking about her. I had to stop. Maybe if I just avoided her I wouldn't think about her at all. In the end, that's what I decided to do. If I avoided her, I wouldn't think about her. If I avoided her, there would be no kissing and no sudden urges to stare deep into her eyes. If I avoided her, everything would be perfect.

* * *

After school I knocked on Mr. Webber's door and waited patiently for him to give me the okay to walk in.

"Come in!" I heard him yell.

I grasped the knob then quickly opened the door. "Hey. Do you have my tutor picked out?"

"Yes I do…" He picked up a sheet of paper. "Meredith Grey."

My mouth drooped. "What?"

"Meredith is taking all AP classes, and is a very strong student in the areas you're slipping in. Plus, you two already know each other from the service projects."

"But…but she didn't want to work with me anymore."

"Well I talked to her this morning and she said she would be fine tutoring you. Of course I offered her 10 credits for college if she accepted the offer."

"So she didn't want to do it?"

"Not at first. But after I offered the credits, she accepted immediately. You see Derek, it's all about business. She will really help you."

"You see, I don't think that's such a good idea because—"

"Derek, I am cutting you a HUGE break. Most principals would have you expelled. I suggest you don't argue with me."

My mouth immediately shut. "Sorry sir. Am I starting today?"

"Yes, right in the library after school. I'll check in time to time to see how you're doing. But, you are in good hands."

"Right," I mumbled, "Well thank you. I guess I'm heading to the library now."

"Alright, see you tomorrow Derek."

I shot him a quick smile then ran out of his office. After shutting the door, I leaned against it. Meredith as my TUTOR?! He had to be kidding. I was trying to avoid her! I _had_ to avoid her! This seriously totally sucked.

* * *

I entered the huge library and looked across the room for Meredith. Finally, I found her sitting near the history book section.

"Hey," I said as I slid my backpack across the table. I quickly sat down across from her.

"Hey, long time no see."

"Yeah, let's just get this over with. I have to get ready for the party tonight."

She nodded. "Yeah, me too. Are you going with Addison?"

"Yeah, why?"

She shrugged. "Just wondering."

"Okay well let's start this."

"Alright, turn to page 300."

I did what I was told. "Okay?"

"And I want you to highlight all of the major battles and events that occurred between the Indians and the miners."

I sighed then grabbed my highlighter out of my backpack. I felt her eyes on me and slowly looked up. "What?"

"Sorry, but uhm…what was that this morning? At your locker?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

Her eye brows furrowed. "What? Nothing?"

"It was nothing Meredith, drop it." I had no idea why I was lying. It just felt better denying the truth than actually admitting it.

I saw her eyes grow cold and she cleared her throat. "Fine. Not that I care or anything, I just wanted you to know that uhm…I don't like you in that way."

"Good cause I don't like you in that way either. Like I said, it meant nothing." Dammit, I was being a jackass again!

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

She shook her head. "Look, you obviously don't want to be here so how about I just give you homework. We don't have to do this here."

"Fine with me," I replied dryly.

"Just finish highlighting…" she gathered her books then swung her backpack over her shoulder. I could tell she was mad. But what was there to be mad about? All I said was it didn't mean anything. Wasn't that what she _wanted_ to hear?

* * *

**A/N: The next chapter is going to be the PARTY and boy am I excited for that!!! Thanks so much for all the reviews! I'm really loving them! (That's why I keep updating! I know I have readers!) Please continue with those lovely reviews and more updates will be on the way!**


	9. Party Hard

A/N: Ahhh so I've been fantasizing about this chapter all day!!! Finally, school is over and I don't even care that I'm skipping homework. But anyways, if you know my stories, I absolutely LOVE angst. I'm not a huge fan of fluffy fics because they tend to lose my interest. But angst rocks! In my opinion, it makes the story really interesting. So this chapter is uhm…different, with loads of angst of course. So Read. Love. Review.

* * *

I honked the horn outside of Mark's house and checked my watch. The party started at exactly 8 and it was now 7:50. I beeped the horn once more then out came running Mark. He quickly opened the passenger door and crashed against the seat.

"Hey," I said as I started the ignition. "Ready to go?"

"You bet. Tonight, oh tonight…Izzie Stevens is all mine!"

"Dude, I think she has a thing for Karev." I smirked as I started to drive off towards Addison's house.

"No way! That guy is a total pansy! I'll kick him ass if she does!"

"Whatever you say…"

He grinned. "So have my five rules been working?"

"Surprisingly yeah in a way…"

"Good. Cause you and Addison are meant to be man…you and Meredith, screw that."

"You really think so?" I asked as I drummed by fingers along the steering wheel.

"Defiantly. Plus, Addison is gorgeous, sweet, funny, everything you would want."

"Yeah I guess…" I said not so reassuringly.

He stared at me through the corner of his eye. "Look, Derek, she's been one of my best friends for years, next to you. I know you two are meant to be. Plus, I don't want her to get hurt."

"Mark I'm not—"

"Don't hurt her Derek."

I nodded. "I won't, I'm not. You're probably right."

"_Probably_?! I know I'm right!"

"Okay, okay your right!" I yelled as I pulled up Addison's ridiculously long drive way. I beeped the horn once than sat back in my seat. Before I knew it, Addison swung the back door opened and slid into the seat.

"Hey guys!" she exclaimed a little _too _cheery.

"Hey," I mumbled.

I could feel Mark giving me a look, but I didn't care. All I wanted was this party to be over and done with.

* * *

I pulled up to Chris's house and sighed as I saw the millions of seniors partying, drinking, and acting like complete idiots. One guy even jumped from the roof into Chris's enormous pool. Like I said, complete idiots.

"Holy crap!" Mark laughed as I pulled the car into the last remaining spot. "Thank God his house is in the middle of freaking nowhere! If he had neighbors, this party would've been totally shut down."

Addison nodded. "I just hope they're not going to make us drink…"

"They can't force you to do anything, Addison," I said annoyed. "Plus, you don't have to be a goody-to-shoes all the time."

I saw her grimace and immediately regretted it.

"Derek, what the hell?" Mark asked me.

"Nothing, sorry, let's just go." I quickly opened the door then waited patiently for Addison to walk out of the car.

After she slammed the back door shut, I grabbed her arm. "I'm sorry Addie, I'm just having a rough day."

"Its fine," she sighed, her eyes sad. "Let's just have fun tonight okay?"

I nodded. "Fine by me."

She gave me a small smile then grabbed my hand. "Me too."

* * *

The party was completely insane. Drunken seniors were jumping from the balcony, the smell of beer intoxicated your nostrils, and everywhere you went there was at least three couples making out. To tell you the truth, it was a little sick. Chris was acting the same exact way and when he saw us, I immedialtey wanted to run in the opposite direction.

"SHEPHERD! SLOAN! WELCOME!" he yelled as he pushed his way through the crowd to us.

Mark smiled. "Hey Chris. Some party huh?"

"My parents don't even know about it. They're in Bermuda."

I shook my head. "Well you've certainty made them proud."

Chris shrugged then darted his eyes over Addison. "Wooo, hey beautiful!"

She rolled her eyes then hugged me a little closer. "Thanks, Chris."

He grabbed another beer off the counter then handed some to Addison. "Want some babe?"

"No and don't call me babe."

"Whatever, more for me…have fun tonight guys!" he said then turned to leave.

"Ass." I heard Addison mumble.

"Hey…" I turned her face towards mine. "Don't worry about it. Tonight we're having fun."

She smiled. "Right."

* * *

It was about an hour into the party and it was even more intense than earlier. I looked across the room as Addison chatted with some of her friends. Mark was off doing God knows what so it was just me and my buddy Mr. Bud Light.

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" I heard someone say. My heart immediately did a flip because I knew exactly who was yelling.

"Oh come on Meredith, give the birthday boy a little kissy!" Chris puckered his lips at Meredith and pinned her arms against the wall.

"NO! Stop! YOU'RE HURTING ME!"

"Hey!" I yelled as I ran towards them. "Did you just hear her Chris? You're hurting her."

"What does it matter to_ you_ Shepherd?"

"Let go of her," I replied, my eyes cold.

"_No_! What are you going to do about it?"

I have no idea what got into me but I automatically pushed him off Meredith and punched him square in the nose.

"DEREK!" I heard her yell. But, before I could respond, Chris got up and charged after me, punching me hard in the stomach.

I quickly punched back, ignoring the aching pain in my stomach and chest.

Suddenly, I felt Mark's strong arms pull me off a badly beaten Chris. "Jesus Derek!" I heard him say.

"Let me go Mark!" I yelled.

"No! Derek, what the heck has gotten into you?!"

I looked directly across from me and saw Chris being held back by some of his friends. Luckily, people were so drunk they hadn't even noticed our fight. I stopped fighting Mark then took a deep breath. "Dammit," I whispered. I looked up and saw Meredith staring at me, her eyes a combination of shock and guilt. Then, she pushed herself off the wall and ran into an empty room.

Mark quickly let go of me. "Derek…" his voice was fierce and stern.

"Oh my God!" I heard Addison yell as she ran towards me. "What happened?!"

"I uh…got into a fight," I stammered as I stared at the wall where Meredith's tiny arms were pinned up against.

"About what?" she asked, concern overshadowing her already quivering voice.

"I, I don't know."

She sighed then ran a hand over my bruised cheek. "God Derek…we need to get you some ice. Mark, come with me."

He nodded at me then went off with Addison. I quickly turned towards the door where Meredith was hiding. I knew I shouldn't have but I grasped the brass door knob and stumbled inside.

She looked up, her eyes swollen, tears staining her cheeks. "You shouldn't have done that Derek…"

I slammed the door shut then walked up to her. "Why are you crying?"

"Derek…"

"Why are you crying Meredith?"

"I DON'T KNOW! OKAY?! I don't know and that scares the hell out of me! What you did…most guys would never do that for me." I gave her a small smile then heard her gasp. "Oh God, you're hurt!" She pressed her hand against my cheek and ran it down my face. I stared into her eyes and hesitated before outlining her chin with my thumb. Then before I knew it, our lips were pressed together and she was running her hands up my chest and behind my neck. I tangled my fingers through her hair and let her soft curls turn in my hand. I pushed her against the wall and pulled her face closer to mine. I knew it was wrong, believe me I knew it was wrong. She was with Brian and I was with Addison. But, it felt so right, so natural…

…until Mark opened the door.


	10. Revelations and Complications

**A/N: Better get your daggers and pitchforks out…**

* * *

We immediately stopped kissing as soon as those doors burst open. Mark just stared right at me, as if he could see the thoughts swimming through my head. I cheated. I actually cheated on my three year girlfriend. I cheating on her with someone I've known for two weeks. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't say anything. So I just stared back, and tried my best to see the thoughts running through Mark's head. 

"I got the ice!" Addison beamed as she walked up to Mark. "Everything okay?" she asked as she noticed Mark staring at me. Watching the scene from afar, I probably would've laughed. You had an awed Mark Sloan (aka: the hero) staring at a guilty Derek Shepherd (aka: the shoplifter), and a Meredith Grey (aka: the shoplifter's partner) looking down at her feet a few inches away from that jackass Derek. It was exactly like a scene from a movie, except I was the villain, not the valiant superhero who saved the day.

"Yeah," I chocked out, still staring right at Mark, who pierced his eyes right back.

Meredith shook her head then ran out of the room, pushing Mark and Addison out of her way.

"I uhm…excuse me," I said as I followed Meredith out of the room, but Mark blocked me.

"No, Shepherd…_no_." His face was cold and distant. He looked completely different from the Mark Sloan I thought I knew. His eyes were hard and dark, nothing like the light gray/blue they usually were. "Addison, let's go home."

She looked between the two of us, her eye brows cocked. "What happened?"

Mark shook his head. "It doesn't matter, let's just go."

"NO! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" I had never seen Addison explode like that before. She was the peacemaker, the pacifist. She solved the war, never participated in it.

Mark cleared his throat then looked in my direction. "I caught Derek drinking a shot of tequila. Since he's driving I didn't want him to be drunk."

I didn't think she would buy it, but to my surprise, she did. "Oh…well let's go."

As she turned to walk out of the house, Mark grabbed me by the throat and pushed my up against the wall. "WHAT THE HELL!" He screamed in my face.

I brought my hands up to my neck and tried my best to unhook his grasp. "_LET GO_ Mark!"

"YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU CHEATING SON OF A BITCH!"

I punched him right in the stomach and he immediately let his grip go. "STOP Mark! STOP THIS! You are not completely innocent! I see the way you look at her, the way you talk to her, the way whenever she's around your body tenses, I SEE IT! I'm not an idiot. You love her! And I bet she's cheated on me before—"

"THAT'S WHERE YOU AND ADDISON ARE COMPLELEY DIFFERENT! She did not cheat on you Derek! Never, not once. I know she's unhappy, hell…SHE knows she's unhappy. But she has never cheated. And maybe you're right. Maybe I do love her, but she would never cheat on you with _me_. She's better than you Derek. And what, you've known this Meredith person for two weeks! You've had Addison for three years! Three effing years! You know how long I've had her? _Never_! And now you're throwing that all away for some garbage chick!"

"SHES NOT GARBAGE! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!"

He paused, his breath heavy. "Yeah, well I don't know you either."

Then, he walked away.

* * *

I stared up at my ceiling as I lied in bed, thinking about all the crazy events that went down at that party. Kissing, _two_ fist fights, KISSING! I, quite frankly, could not believe it. Suddenly, I heard my phone ring. Mark? No, he would probably never call me again. Addison? Possibly. Meredith...? I quickly picked up the phone, "Hello?" My voice was horsed from the beer I had been drinking and my stomach ached from the fighting.

"Derek!" Addison yelled. "Oh my God…"

I sat up. Her voice was ranged with worry and fear. "Shhh, Addison what's wrong?"

"Oh my God," she repeated. "Derek you have to come back to Chris's house."

Chris's house? What was going on? "What? Why? Where are you?!"

Her voice quivered, "I'm here right now, Mark told me to call you. He went back there to pick up his jacket and he found police and ambulances…apparently someone went ballistic at the party and shot up the place"

"_What_?!" A shooting, this could not be happening!

She paused, a pause that felt like an eternity. "You know your old partner, Meredith?"

"Yeah?" I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

"She's, she's nowhere to be found."

* * *

**A/N: First off, thank you guys SO much for the reviews. They are WOW!! And this chapter was sort of a filler so it wasn't that long. Second of all, yes Meredith is missing. Was she shot? Did she run away before she got shot? Did nothing happen to her at all? Well review and maybe you'll see…**

**Oh and if you guys will do be a big favor and check out my new story: Hate That I Love You...I would REALLY appreciate it! **


	11. No one

_She's missing. She's missing_. Those two words kept repeating themselves over and over in my head. The room was getting smaller and the walls felt like they were collapsing on me. There was a shooting. Meredith was missing. Putting the two together the answer was simple…she got shot. But I didn't let myself believe that, I couldn't let myself believe that. I felt the bile creep up my throat. I had to get to that house. I quickly ran down the stairs, scribbled a small note for my parents, then jumped in my car.

Turing the ignition, I saw my knuckles go white. I sped down the highway and didn't even bother wearing my seat belt. I couldn't believe it. A few hours ago, we were kissing. And now…could she be dead? I quickly erased that image out of my head then wiped the beads of sweat seeping through my skin. In a small section of my brain I couldn't help but wonder…would I have been this worried if Addison was the one missing?

* * *

The sirens were blaring in my ears. The lights flashed in my face. People were screaming and crying everywhere around me, I couldn't believe it. I had to be dreaming. I saw a police man cross in front of me and my hand immediately latched onto his arm.

"Excuse me officer?" I croaked.

He turned towards me, "Yeah?"

"Did you find Meredith Grey yet?"

He looked down at his papers then asked me, "Are you her boyfriend?"

Am I her boyfriend? No, I couldn't be. I was still with Addison! I wasn't considered her boyfriend…was I? "Uhm, no."

"I'm sorry. This information can only be discussed with family or her boyfriend."

My temper immediately flared up. "WHAT!? What about all the people that care about her! She has people who care about her! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! SHE WOULD WANT ME TO KNOW!"

"SIR, calm down…I _cannot_ disclose this information to you." The officer stated.

I ran my fingers through my hair. I felt as though the people around me were traveling at warp speed and I was stuck, unable to move. I had to know if she was alright. "GOD, SHOW ME THE PAPER YOU SON OF A BITCH, I NEED TO KNOW IF SHE'S ALRIGHT!"

"IF YOU DO NOT CALM DOWN I WILL HAVE YOU ARRESTED!"

I was about to yell right back when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry officer, he won't blow up like that again."

My eyes closed as I realized the voice came from Mark. I slowly turned around, unable to look him in the eye.

"Derek, you alright man? You look flushed."

I looked up and probably had tears in my eyes considering Mark's facial expressions. "Oh Derek…"

I tried my best to hold them in, but I couldn't. They flew down my cheeks and dripped off my chin, landing like bullets on the solid ground. _Bullets_. Without thinking I did the only thing I knew how to do, I hugged Mark and he squeezed my shoulders right back. "It's going to be okay Derek; she is going to be okay."

"What if she's not?" I choked, drowning in my own tears.

"What if she _is_?"

* * *

I sat on the cold concrete covering my eyes with my hands. The one thing I wanted was Meredith. The one thing I needed was Meredith. Yet, she could be dead.

"Derek?"

I looked up, surprised to see Izzie standing over me. But, she looked nothing like 'school Izzie'. She had no make up on and her hair was thrown in a messy bun on top of her head. Square glasses covered her eyes and pink bunny slippers wrapped around her feet.

"Can I sit down?" she asked.

I hazily nodded, and as she came into clearer view, I could tell she had been crying.

"Do you know anything about Meredith?"

I shook my head. "No, they won't tell me anything." My voice was barely above a whisper and I felt the bags under my eyes grow deeper.

"The last time I saw her was when I found her crying in her car."

I looked up. "She was crying?"

She nodded. "Yeah, something about falling in love with a guy who didn't really love her back." She looked at me, "_You_."

I shook my head. "That's not true."

"Oh come on Derek what else was she supposed to think? You kiss her, then your super girlfriend walks in and you don't even say anything! If you really loved her, you would break up with Addison."

"I WAS CONFUSED!"

"Yeah well so was she."

I dug my nails deeper into my scalp. "What did she say?"

She sighed then put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "She didn't say much of anything. But, I could tell it was all about you. Meredith…she doesn't talk much."

"Didn't," I whispered, "She didn't talk much."

She quickly shook her head, her fists clenched. "_NO_!" she yelled, "DON'T SAY THAT!"

"Say what?"

I turned around and saw Addison standing over me, a long red coat covering her curvy body.

I hesitantly stood up from the cool concrete then looked her straight in the eye. "I'm sorry," I whispered before trudging off into the darkness, determined to find Meredith.

* * *

"Meredith?! MEREDITH!" I yelled. I had been wandering around the dark highway for an hour and there was still no sign of her. "DAMN'T," I screamed to myself. I couldn't believe this. How could I have been so stupid? Maybe if I had told Addison in the first place none of this would be happening. Maybe if I had been honest with my feelings, Meredith would be by my side right now. I looked around me and stopped dead in my tracks. I had no idea where I was. The highway was being swallowed by the darkness, and there was no sign of light anywhere. I was in the middle of nowhere.

Suddenly, I heard a small moan a few feet ahead of me. My heart flipped. "Meredith?!" I ran as fast as I could towards the side of the road and found her curled up in a ball, clenching her stomach, blood seeping through her pale hands.

I quickly crouched down and lifted her limp body slightly off the ground. Her body was as cold as ice and her skin had no color to it. "Meredith?! Meredith, talk to me. Breathe…keep breathing." Fear filled my voice, and my hands frantically shook.

"I, I…" she moaned before completely collapsing in my arms.

My fingers immediately flew to her neck. No pulse. _Shit_. "I NEED SOME HELP!" I screamed. But, I knew it didn't make any difference. No one was near me, no one was listening, _no one_ was going to help me.

* * *

**A/N: UGH! I cannot believe Derek did that (if you saw Crash Into Me Part 2, you'll know what I mean.) UGH! GOD! But anyways, I have a few spoilers for you for the next chapter…**

**- Someone helps Derek with Meredith **

**- Addison reveals a HUGE secret which makes everything ****a lot**** more complicated.**


	12. Do you trust me?

My heart stopped, my breathe hitched in my throat, my face went pale…she was dead. The corpse of Meredith was lying in my hands, and I couldn't do anything. I tried to move. I tried to perform CPR. I tried to carry her to the side of the road and beg for God to send me an angel. But I couldn't. I was frozen into place, staring at the powdery face of a total stranger. For a second, I thought this _had_ to be a dream. She couldn't be dead! But here I was, shivering in the cold, holding a dead body…_her_ body. I slowly removed her hand from her stomach as the blood continued to seep through. _God, Derek think! _I quickly tore off a piece of my shirt and planted it directly on Meredith's wound._ Pressure, that's all it takes…pressure_. Suddenly, my phone began to beep in my back pocket. Swallowing hard, I reached into my pocket and removed the phone. Glancing down, my stomach flipped. "Please connect phone to charger" flashed on the screen. No, my phone couldn't have died, not now, not like this. Flipping it open, I hurriedly dialed Mark's number. As I was about to dial the last digit, the screen went black, and the power went out. I couldn't believe it. I clutched the phone as hard as I could then threw it into the darkness. My breath was heavy and my fingers were white from pressing the fabric onto Meredith's soft flesh. "God…" I whispered, "Come on, please…give me something."

Then, just like that, my whole life seemed to flash before my eyes.

"_Mom!" I screamed as I ran into the kitchen. "TOMMY CUT ME WITH HIS SCISSORS!"_

"_Ugh, Derek how many times have I told you to not play with that boy?" Hoisting me up on the counter, she inspected the wound on my hand. "It's not that bad…I just need to clean it and put a bandage on."_

"_How do you know?" I asked, the tears still stinging my eyes._

"_Well, I know because it's not that deep."_

"_What if it was deep?"_

"_Then you would probably need stitches."_

"_STITCHES?!" My eyes grew wide and I immediately pulled my hand away from my mom._

"_No, hunny, you don't need it…now give me your hand."_

"_NO! You are going to hurt me!"_

_She rolled her eyes then placed a cotton ball on top of a container of rubbing alcohol. _

"_Give me your hand, Derek, trust me…"_

_Hesitating, I slowly surrendered my hand. I trusted her. _

Trust. Did Meredith trust me? She had to. Without thinking, I grabbed her back then flung her over my shoulders. "I am not letting you die," I murmured…mostly to myself.

* * *

I had been wandering in the darkness for 15 minutes and I knew time was running out. "Come on Meredith, come on," I breathed as I continued to run up the side of the road. I could feel her blood dripping down my jacket, but I couldn't stop. She was going to live; I was not letting her die. Out of nowhere, just as if God himself had been hearing my cries, a car interrupted the quiet darkness. I felt a small smile of relief creep up on my lips. "HELP!" I yelled. "HELP!" 

The car immediately pulled over and I was shocked to see Mr. Webber.

"Put her in the back, Derek…we're going to the hospital." He said as calmly as he could manage.

I gently placed her limp body in the back seat, my hand still pressed against her abdomen. Slamming the car door shut, I signaled for him to go.

* * *

I hate hospitals. Seriously, I do. The smell, the happy nurses, the nauseating doctors…I hate it. People are dying everywhere around you and what can you do? Nothing. Only the doctors can save a life and that annoys the hell out of me. What if you were sitting in a waiting room and saw a patient vomiting? Would you just sit there or would you help the patient out and risk being arrested? I would, without a doubt, choose the latter. I just wouldn't be able to watch someone suffer and not do anything. That's not me, and when you're in a hospital, sitting in that hot stuffy waiting room…your forced to do the exact opposite. _Wait_. My jacket and hands were still covered in Meredith's blood, and I wouldn't dare wash it off…not until I was sure she was alive. As Mr. Webber emerged from the thick, taunting OR doors, I instantly ran up to him. 

"Is she okay? They can save her right? Did you tell them she was shot?"

"Derek, calm down."

"What do you mean calm down? She's okay right? RIGHT?!" I was panicking. I had to know if she was okay, she had to be. She was MEREDITH! Meredith didn't give up.

"Are you your boyfriend?" A tall, dark surgeon asked. Why did everyone keep asking me that? I knew I wasn't, but I had to know if she was okay.

"Uhm, yeah…yeah I am."

Mr. Webber gave me a questionable look then turned towards the surgeon. "He just wants to know if she's alright."

The surgeon nodded towards me then walked behind the nurses' station. "Well, she's lost a lot of blood. Luckily for her, she's AB, and that is very abundant here. But, the bullet…" He gave me a sympathetic look then continued, "Is lodged in her spine. We will have to perform surgery to remove it."

"And then she'll be fine right?"

He hesitated. "Not exactly…if the bullet is too deep, she could be paralyzed. The CT scans show that it is not too far in but we can't be exactly sure until we get in there."

My mouth dropped open. "Paralyzed?"

He sadly nodded. "Yes but I have a good feeling it is not in that far…"

'_A good feeling'…bullshit._

"…I'll let you know if anything progress." He let out a small sigh then disappeared through the heavy doors.

Mr. Webber placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it tight. "Be strong Derek…she's going to make it."

I took a deep breath and tried my best to calm the nervous feelings I was experiencing. "If I ever find that ass who did this to her I swear I will-"

"You will what? Kill him? What's that going to do? Revenge is not the answer."

I felt the tears drip down my face. "Then what is?"

He paused. "I don't know…I don't know."

* * *

"Oh my God, DEREK!" Addison threw her arms around me as Mark, Izzie, and practically the rest of the seniors from Seattle Memorial High School showed up. 

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, my voice low.

"We heard what you did…saving Meredith and all."

"I didn't save her," I mumbled to myself.

"Well still…that was so brave Derek." She gave me a smile then gasped when she saw the blood on my jacket. "Oh God…you need to have that cleaned off." She reached for my jacket but I jerked away.

"NO! No Addison, stop!"

She instantly pulled her hand away then took a step back. Looking down at her feet she whispered, "Sorry that must've been hard on you."

I shook my head, took a deep breath then walked into the bathroom. Leaning my head against the door, I closed my eyes and tried my best to envision Meredith. It wasn't too difficult considering I thought about her every night for the past two weeks. Suddenly, I head a small knock on the door.

"Derek, Derek open up! I'm sorry…"

I sighed then hesitantly opened the door for Addison. She stumbled inside then looked me straight in the eye.

"Are you okay?"

I bit my bottom lip. I couldn't lash out on Addison, I had to compose myself. "Am I okay? What do you think? A few hours ago I was holding a dead body…Meredith's body. A few hours ago I thought I lost her forever." I paused then ran my hands through my hair. "No, Addie…I'm not okay."

She swallowed hard then took a step closer to me. "You kissed her didn't you?"

I looked at her and blinked. "What? How did you know?"

She let out a small laugh. "I can tell. You don't look at me the same way you look at her. I could tell."

"And…?"

She tucked her lips in then crossed her arms firmly over her chest. In a shaky voice, she sighed, "And it's okay. I'm not mad. I understand and forgive you because what I am about to tell you is ten times worse than what you did…"

My eye brows furrowed together. "What?"

She clenched her jaw then slowly said, "I'm pregnant…and Mark's the father."

* * *

**A/N: REVIEW PLEASE!!! And any questions you have will be answered in the next chapter **


	13. Never let go

My jaw dropped and my hands grew cold. "You…what? I don't understand."

She sighed then rocked back and fourth on her heels. "It was one time, Derek…and he doesn't even remember it."

I shook my head; this was all too much, too soon. "What are you talking about he doesn't remember it?"

"We were drunk. It was after you and I got in that huge fight. He was there and we got drunk. And well," she let out a small chuckle, "He was so wasted he didn't even remember it. I'm _that_ forgettable."

I clenched my fists, desperate to draw out all the anger in my body. Without thinking, I punched the wall. She closed her eyes then reached out for my hand.

"I am so sorry Derek. I, I didn't mean to hurt you."

For some reason, this made me laugh.

"What?" she asked as my laughing continued to grow louder. "DEREK?! Are you okay?"

I chuckled a few more times before stopping. I then quickly turned towards her. I had to tell her the truth, this _had_ to end. "Addie, I don't love you. I've never loved you. You don't love me, and as much as you try to convince yourself, you've never did. And this…what you told me, I'm not upset. I don't feel anything, because I don't love you. You didn't hurt me…I'm actually relieved. This means we can stop pretending. We're not good for each other."

She swallowed hard then rubbed her eyes. "Are you breaking up with me?" she whispered, her voice on the verge of tears.

I nodded, not a hint of pain in my voice, "It's for the best."

A single tear ran down her cheek and she quickly wiped it off. "Don't, come on Derek please don't…" Her voice was low and filled with fear.

"You can do this by yourself, you don't need me."

"BUT I DO!" she yelled, surprising me completely. "I NEED YOU DEREK! I NEED YOU TO HELP ME WITH THIS DAMN PREGNANCY AND I NEED YOU TO LOVE ME!" She reached for my face, but I pulled her hands away. She started to hyperventilate and her body shook violently.

I grabbed her wrists and forced her to calm down. "Addison, look at me…_look at me_." She slowly looked up, her eyes filled with glistening tears.

I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want to put her through this much pain, but I had to tell her. As I looked straight into her eyes, I stated, "I don't love you. I'm never going to be able to. I can't help you with this pregnancy. It's not my responsibility to help. I am not the one who got you pregnant. And I am not going to support you in any way. I still care about you, I do, and I want you to be happy. But this falls on you. _Not_ me."

I then pushed her to the side and walked out the door.

* * *

"Did you know that I knew Meredith since she was a kid?" Mr. Webber said as he faced me in the waiting room.

I looked up from my hands and shook my head. "You did?"

He nodded, a smile spread on his face. "Oh yes. She was a feisty one. I remember one time she made a bet with these boys from the neighborhood. They were mean kids and would always bully her friend George around." He laughed a bit then continued, "The bet was if she could eat a basket of worms without throwing up, they would stop bullying her friend."

I laughed. "Did she do it?"

"Of course. She was Meredith. I remember all the kids in the neighborhood went to the playground to see her. It was quite funny actually, all the parents told her not to do it…"

"How about her parents?"

He let out a small, sad smile. "Meredith only has a mom, and she works a lot. I'm surprised she grew up as great as she did."

I looked down at my hands and finally realized why she was so closed off. Without a dad and barely a mom, it's no surprise she doesn't let people in. "How did you know how to find us? We were in the middle of nowhere."

He sat back in his chair and placed his firm hands behind his head. "I asked that sweet girl Izzie where you went. She pointed in that direction and I drove. I thought I would never find you, but there was something telling me you were out there, with her."

I felt the cool tears creep up again. "We kissed."

He looked in my direction and grinned. "I'm not surprised. She seemed attracted to you."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, every time I mentioned your name her face lit up. She's a sweet girl Derek."

"Yeah…" I wiped my nose on my sleeve then slowly looked up at Mr. Webber. I knew confiding in him was wrong. He was a teacher, a respected adult. He could get us all in trouble. But… "Addison's pregnant."

* * *

Her body was still white. Blood still invaded her hair. But, something was different. She was breathing, actually breathing. She was alive. As I leaned against the door outside her room, my chest pounded. She stirred a little before meeting my eyes. I smiled. "So is that a thing you do? Kiss guys then get shot?"

She tried to laugh but nothing came out.

"Don't talk, just rest…" I said as I walked over to her bed. I slowly reached out for her hand and squeezed it. I was not letting go. There was no chance in hell I was letting go.

* * *

**A/N: Prom is coming soon!!! Yay that will be fun! Please review **


	14. Confusion

7 days since I last talked to Addison. I wasn't planning on talking to her, but still, it felt weird. When we passed each other in the hallway, or sat at separate tables for lunch…too weird. I guess once you get accustomed to doing things one way, that's all you know. I slid my lunch try onto an empty table and plugged my Ipod headphones into my ears. I wanted to be alone, without Addison. I sighed as I thought about tomorrow, the day Meredith finally came back to school. Then, my mind drifted to Mark. I hadn't talked to him since the shooting, and I wasn't planning on telling him about Addison. He didn't know she was pregnant. Hell, he didn't even know he slept with her. It wasn't my responsibility, yet I felt guilty. Suddenly, Alex Karev slid his tray next to mine.

"Hey," he mumbled as he unwrapped his turkey sandwich. "Can I sit here?"

I shut off my Ipod and stuffed it into my backpack. "Sure," I replied indifferently.

He took a big bite of his sandwich then asked, "So you and Meredith?"

I laughed a bit. "I don't know, why?"

He shrugged. "There are rumors flying everywhere. Plus, you and Addison seem to be done."

"Yeah…we are."

He nodded then took a gulp of his soda. "Meredith's a cool chick. She's really the only one I like."

I cracked a smile. "What about Izzie?"

His cheeks reddened. "Shut it man, I don't like her."

"Mmhmm…"

"Well then you admit it."

I rested my elbows on the table then asked, "Admit what?"

"That you have the hots for Meredith…_bad_."

I let out a small smile that ceased to disappear. Shaking my head I replied, "No, I don't have it bad."

"Oh yes you do."

"No I don't."

He cocked an eye brow then shrugged. "Whatever you say dude…"

* * *

The bell rang, I gathered my books, then quickly walked into the freezing rain. I didn't bother to put my hood on, or cover myself with a jacket. I wanted to get home… 

"DEREK!"

I instantly turned around and grinned through the rain. Her hair was drenched and stuck to the side of her face. Her thin jacket draped over her lean body, and didn't stop the rain from seeping through her clothes. She ran up to me and flew her tiny arms around my shoulders. I hugged her back and whispered, "I missed you."

She laughed. "I bet you did. You had no one to torture you, must've sucked."

"Oh yeah it did."

She smiled. Pushing back my hair she said, "You saved my life."

"Well you saved mine."

* * *

Our lips crashed together as she led me up the stairs to my room. The house was empty, and the only sound was the hard pounding of the rain. Her fingers clawed through my hair and I heard her gasp as I pushed her onto my bed. The room was dark. In fact, the whole house was dark. For some reason, this caused my mind to drift back 3 weeks ago...when the most important thing to me was winning prom king. Now, oh now, the thing I wanted most was Meredith. I wanted to taste her, feel her body against mine. I wanted her, _all_ of her. But, almost as if God himself had been watching us, my mother's voice soared from the kitchen. 

"Derek, you home?"

I pulled away from Meredith and groaned loudly. Why did my mother have to show up now, of all times, why _now_?!

"Yeah, I'm up here," I replied, my voice enraged in anger.

Meredith giggled. "Shhh, it's okay. Don't act all pissed off."

"But I _am _pissed off."

She smiled the kissed me long and hard before slowly getting off the bed, her fingers trailing my chest. "I'll see you tomorrow Derek."

Then before I knew it, she was gone.

* * *

I wish there were rules for love. I know that sounds corny, especially coming from a guy like me. But, it's true. I just want a guideline on what to do. I think all guys do. Even though it may seem the girls are the only ones really committed to the relationship, guys still try. I knew I tried with Addison, but I never loved her. That's what's different with Meredith. I really think I love her. I know, I've only known her for a few weeks but still, there was _something_ there. Something I could not control. I never believed in love at first sight. But whenever I look at her, my heart seems to stop. And in that exact moment in time, I am completely head over heels in love with her…or it could just be hormones. But then again, I am always- 

"Derek Shepherd, may I see you for a moment."

I heard the class snicker as I walked up to Mr. Green's desk. Why did he have to interrupt my daydreaming?

"Uh yeah sir?"

"Since summer is coming up I was wondering if you'd be interested in this program. I understand you are going to NYU, and this is a course in NYU for the summer. It will advance your biology knowledge and get you a jump start in college."

"You want me to go?" I asked, a little taken back since I wasn't scoring perfect 100s on my tests.

"Yes, I do. You seem to share great admiration for the sciences. Whenever I read one of your labs or papers, it amazes me how interested you are. Have you ever considered going into the medical profession?"

"Uhm, I haven't really thought about it." A doctor? Woo, I never even thought about that.

"What are you majoring in?"

"Economics."

"It's not too late to switch to pre-med. I seriously think after participating in this program, you will be a mile ahead of everyone else."

I took the paper he held in his hands and tucked it in my pocket. "Thanks Mr. Green, I'll definitely look into it."

"Great, get back to me though. Let's say Monday?"

I nodded. "That's fine."

As I gathered my books I walked out of the classroom bewildered. I had to show my dad this. Sure, it was in the summer and the summer was not supposed to be about school. But I was going into college. I had to start somewhere. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't notice I bumped into someone.

"Oh sorry," I stumbled as I picked up the books that fell from her hands. _You are such a klutz_ I thought to myself.

"That's okay," she smiled. Holding out her hand she said, "I'm Rose."

I shook her hand and gave her a quick smile. "Derek."

She gathered the rest of her books and I gingerly helped her up. "So I guess I'll see you around."

She grinned. "I'm sure you will."

I watched her leave and for some reason I couldn't help but smile…

…but why?

* * *

**A/N: Come on, you didn't think just cause Addison's out of the picture doesn't mean there's no more drama between these two! Hehe, what can I say, I love angst. The actual prom is not going to be in the next update but the update after that…and stuff is going to happen. Oh and that summer program thingy has a purpose, so keep that in mind…and like always, review:)**

**Also, be sure to check out my other fic: One Hell of a Reunion**


	15. AUTHORS NOTE!

Okay guys so I'm going away for a bit, and won't be back till the beginning of January so I just wanted to give you a few spoilers to keep you on your toes:

-Rose will not sway Derek…he really loves Meredith

-She may sway Meredith…hmmm, what does that mean? Only I know, hehehe

-They will get their happy ending

-And stay tuned cause some wild stuff is coming up


	16. So many questions

"So how should I ask her?" Mark questioned as he flipped through a _Prom for Dummies_ book. "Should I do it the traditional way or get all crazy?"

"You're not marrying her Mark, you are asking her to prom," I replied as I gathered my prom project together. It had been a couple weeks since I last spoke to Mark or Addison, but luckily, my friendship with Mark resumed. Though, things weren't the same.

"Still…have you talked to her yet?"

I shook my head. "Nope, and I don't intend to."

He threw his book down and crossed his arms. "You two dated for three years. You can't just forget about her."

I thought back to when Addison told me she was pregnant. She and Mark had been dating for a week now, and she hadn't told him. I couldn't help but wonder if she would ever tell him he was the father of her child. "Yes I can."

He shook his head. "So I'm guessing you and Meredith are doing well?"

I nodded. "Yeah, its' fun…different than Addison, but fun."

He grinned mischievously. "Have you…"

"MARK!" I yelled, half laughing.

"What?! It's just a question. Have you done the deed or not?"

By this point, I knew my cheeks were flaming red. "Shut it man."

"I'm taking that as a no," he said matter-of-factly as he pulled his sweatshirt over his head. "Don't worry dude, you still have prom."

I hazily nodded. We talked about it sure, but I don't think either of us was ready. "We're not ready."

Mark laughed out loud. "Not ready?! I was ready at 15! Trust me man, you are so ready."

I felt like screaming, "YOU GOT A GIRL PREGNANT YOU MORON!" But I didn't. He didn't know he slept with Addison. He didn't know he was guilty of anything. "What would you do if you got someone pregnant?" I asked, surprising myself completely.

He looked up, his eyes wide. "What?"

"What would you do? Your always talking about how many girls you've slept with…what if you got one of them pregnant?"

His lips tightened and I saw his face grow white. "What are you trying to tell me Derek?"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing, I'm just curious."

"Oh…" The color brightened in his face and he let out a sigh of relief. "You scared me for a second."

_Oh God _I thought.

"I guess, I don't know. It depends who the girl was. But I don't have to worry about that for another 30 years so I'm good Shep." He gave me a pat on the back then walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, another 30 years…" I said dryly.

* * *

"How are you doing your hair?" Izzie Stevens asked Meredith. "I'm thinking of doing mine is a twist thing but I'm not sure. I mean I would totally do it but, like, my dress is pink so there is no way the twist could go with that you know? Maybe if I left it down, but I hate my hair down…oh, I could always do it half up and half down but then that makes my cheek bones look longer, which I definitely do not want. I could do a simple bun, but they are way too boring to me. But then again, in all those magazines they have the best hair styles and most of them are buns so, like, I don't know. What do you think?"

I saw Meredith blink and burst out laughing. Izzie turned around in her seat and questioned, "What?!"

"Jesus Izzie you talk like your being timed!"

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I just get so excited! I mean its PROM!" she squealed.

"I would do it down," Meredith said, her pen resting gently on her white knuckles. Her hair was flat against her head and bounced whenever she laughed. She was wearing no make up yet looked 10x prettier than all the girls in the class.

"Really?" Izzie asked twirling her newly dyed platinum blonde hair in her fingers. "Curly or straight?"

"Curly, definitely," Meredith answered immediately. "You always wear it straight, do something different."

"Hey! Don't go accusing _my_ hair; you do absolutely nothing to yours!"

Meredith rolled her eyes then slammed her book shut. "I don't care what I look like."

"Well you should," Izzie replied as she got out of her seat. "You have a very popular boyfriend who has to remain status-perfect."

"No I don't," I interjected as I wrapped my arm around Meredith. "I actually think she is incredibly sexy."

She giggled then gave me a quick peck. "Aw aren't you sweet."

"Hi Derek."

I looked up from Meredith and saw the girl I bumped into earlier. What was her name? Rita, Rebecca... "Oh hi, uhm…."

She smiled. "Rose. Remember, from the hall?"

Meredith gave me a questioning look then turned towards Rose. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, he bumped into me earlier. Hi, I'm Rose." She extended her hand and Meredith reluctantly shook it.

"Meredith, Derek's _girlfriend_." She moved closer to me, and I couldn't help but grin. She was jealous.

"Oh right, the new student right? You sure are lucky to have a guy like Derek. I mean, most exchange students barely have friends."

I saw Meredith's eyes grow cold. "Well for your information, I have many friends."

I bit my bottom lip. "Uhm, okay…nice seeing you Rose, Meredith let's go."

"Okay," she replied taking my hand. Looking at Rose she said, "Yeah, nice meeting you."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rose staring at us, her hands grasping her hips. "Geez Mer, that was harsh," I said as we rounded the corner.

"Excuse _you_?" she answered angrily, letting go of my hand.

"Well you were kind of mean. She was just trying to be friendly."

"Oh, I'm _so _sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your sweet little Rose!"

"WHAT are you talking about?!" I yelled.

"You know, I wasn't listening to those stupid rumors about you flirting with some girl in the hallway, but now I can see how I was _totally_ wrong!"

"I really have no idea what you are talking about!"

"Izzie said that she heard from a bunch of girls that some girl was hitting on you and you were being all flirty and nice and smiley…"

"OH MY GOD! We bumped into each other in the hallway! If she thought that was some sexual encounter or something she was completely wrong!"

"Whatever," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," I mumbled. "Just quit acting like a bitch."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"JESUS MEREDITH _YOU _ARE MY GIRLFRIEND! I WANT YOU! I _LOVE _YOU!"

She froze. "What?"

I sighed, running my hands along my hair. "I love you."

She shook her head. "No you don't. You can't. We've only known each other for a month, there is no way you can love me…"

"Well I do."

"You don't even know what love means!"

"WHAT is your problem?!" Why did she not want me to love her? Was she scared?

"You don't love me," she whispered looking down. "You, you can't…"

I lifted her chin with my hand and kissed her. "I love you. I don't care what you say. I love you Meredith. Why won't you let me?"

She looked me straight in the eye and I had no idea what she was thinking. "Because…because you can't, Derek." Shaking her head, she walked away…disappearing into the sea of students.

* * *

In 6th period, I was completely lost in my own thoughts. _Because you can't_. What the hell did that mean? Maybe I had to loosen her up, break her shell. I let her in, why couldn't she let me in? Meredith Grey was a puzzle, a complete and total mystery.

"Hey, I asked Addison to prom. She said yes." Mark said as he twisted his pencil in his hands.

"Cool," I replied indifferently.

"Did you ask Meredith?" he asked curiously.

"Nope," I said nonchalantly, sifting through my vocab notes. "We're in a fight."

"Oh, sorry dude, but you should ask her. I've never seen you this crazy over a girl, not even Addison."

"I don't know man," I said as I sat back in my chair. "It's like she doesn't want to let me in."

"Hmmmm…hey, I have a way to get her back _and _ask her to prom."

"Nah, its okay Mark I-"

"No, I insist. I was going to do this for Addison but I changed my mind. Girls totally love it."

I hesitated. I knew Mark was an idiot, but could he be right about this? "Well what is it?"

* * *

"I can't believe you are making me do this," I said to Mark as I waited outside Mr. Webber's office. "I bet she's not even going to like this!"

"Shut up! Now, the key to this is to be very sweet to Webber. If you get passed him, you are in."

The door flew open and Mr. Webber's round face appeared. "Oh hello boys, I was just stepping out to lunch. Is there anything you need?"

Mark stepped up, showing his winning smile. "Hi sir, we were wondering if we could use the loudspeaker to make a very important message. You see Derek here got in a fight with Meredith and this will totally hook them back together. Plus, he needs to ask her to prom. So, sir, we are asking you in the nicest way…"

He chuckled. _I'm such an idiot_. "I'm sorry boys, but I'm not allowed to grant you that. The loudspeaker is used for school purposes only."

Mark frowned. "BUT this is a school purpose. You guys spend so much money on prom. Don't you want kids to actually go?"

Mr. Webber raised an eye brow at me. "I'm sorry; you're going to have to find some other way. Good day boys."

As he walked out the door of the school I shook my head at Mark. "Idiot…" I mumbled.

"No, this is perfect. Go in there." He pushed me into the office then locked the door.

"Are you _crazy_?! We're going to get in trouble! I'm already on a tight leash with him; I can't get in any more trouble than I am already in!"

"Oh shut up for once in your life. GO!"

"No, I can't. This is stupid." I headed for the door but Mark's strong arms grabbed me and strapped me down in Webber's chair.

"Come on Derek, do this…for Meredith."

I sighed. "If I get expelled for this, so help me God…."

"DO IT!"

I swallowed hard then reached for the tiny red button near the microphone. Pushing it down, I pressed my lips against the mike. "Uhm hey students…it's uh Derek Shepherd. And well this message is directed towards Meredith Grey, my girlfriend." I looked up at Mark who was grinning from ear to ear. 'Keep going' he mouthed. "Uhm so Meredith…how do I begin. When I first met you, you were well…you were pretty much a bitch." I laughed a bit then continued, "But once I got to know you, I realized how independent and head strong you really are. You're beautiful, and smart, and there is no way I should have you…so I'm going to ask you a question, and hopefully you'll say yes." I took a deep breath. "Will you go to prom with me?"

I quickly took my hand off the intercom. "Oh shit, she's going to say no…that was horrible."

"No, no, no, no," Mark said as he walked up to me. "That was _perfect. _Now all you have to do is go and find her."

"No, I can't. That was so stupid!"

"Can you just go find her!"

He pushed me out of the office, and I stumbled right into Meredith. "Oh hi…" I stammered. "Look I'm really sorry about that, if I embarrassed you in any way I am so so-"

"Shut up," she smiled. Reaching for my neck, she pressed her lips against mine. "I would love to go to prom with you," she said softly as she broke away from the kiss. "On one condition though…"

"What's that?" I blinked, trying my best to not be phased by the kiss.

"Please don't call me a bitch in public again," she laughed, her eyes dancing.

I grinned. "I think I can do that."

She giggled then kissed me again. Finally, things were actually starting to work out. Finally, prom was coming up, and at prom…well _anything_ could happen

**A/N: WOWZERS that was a long chapter. Actually my longest chapter in my writing history! I hope you loved it, cause this took me a while, but I think it was worth it. Please review!!! **


	17. Prom part 1

**A/N EEEEKKKK!!! OMG I am so so sorry I haven't updated this in like ages! So much has been happening with high school coming up. But I'm back now and I'm hoping to finish this story up. You will notice that this chapter is written A LOT differently from the previous chapters, so pay attention to that. And read and review as always**

**This one goes out to McSerious who really wanted an update**

* * *

Friday, May 4th, 2007, **prom night**. 

It was a typical Friday afternoon; kids were running through sprinklers, mom's were making lemonade, dogs were barking, birds were singing…but every female senior in the neighborhood was not outside, not in their pools, not at the mall, but were trapped in their homes, preparing for the biggest night of their high school lives. Peering through my binoculars I watched a few of them. (they were dressed you dirty people!) It was actually really funny. One girl got pissed off cause her mom stepped on her dress. Ah man, it ripped right in half! So get this…she threw her mirror at her mother. Yes, a MIRROR! I never knew how into it these girls got. Sure it was funny and all, but a little pathetic. Then I caught a glimpse of Meredith. She was walking towards Izzie's house on the other end of the neighborhood. She had nothing more than jeans and a Gap shirt on. Her hair was blown out, but I couldn't see her face. I envisioned how beautiful she looked, how amazingly hot she was going to be tonight. How everything had turned out okay. But, things weren't all castles and pumpkins let me tell you. In fact, for your own convenience, I would advise you to just skip the next page, because that night was possibly the worst night of my life. So for your own convenience…

* * *

_Friday night. 5:02 PM_

Dear "Prom Journal",

Yes, I am seriously writing in a prom journal. The reason? I sort of have to. My guidance counselor, Mike, told me I should just, and I quote, "Write down your experiences at prom. This will help you expand your life and really analyze your self importance. You're not a bad guy Derek; you're not a bad guy…" Okay, so maybe it was a huge mistake telling him about my dad blowing up at me after I yelled at the principal. And maybe I am a little stupid to even be obeying these orders, but I _have_ to or bye-bye NYU. Plus what could happen? So let's see, where should I start? Well Meredith should be here in an hour. Mark's dad rented a limo so we're all going together. I'm pretty excited. Sure, I've been to homecomings and all that, but prom? This is a first time for me. Speaking of first times…Mark keeps pressuring me to do something, anything with Meredith. But to tell you the truth, I'm just not ready. I know, ha ha ha, the great Derek Shepherd isn't ready for sex, but it's true. I would never admit it though, because quite frankly, I would be the laughing stock of the whole school. So, I guess that's enough for one entry? Okay, great…

* * *

"I got the corsages," Mark announced proudly walking through the door. 

"Great," I mumbled, rubbing gel in my hands. "Hopefully this is fun."

"It will be," Mark nodded. "Especially when you win prom king," he said, sashaying through my living room, imitating Miss America.

"Quit it man," I pushed him, my eyes floating towards the window. "Oh crap, they're here."

"Great, how do I look?" He twirled himself around, grinning from ear to ear.

"You look, uhm, I don't know…good?"

"Great!" he clapped, getting ready to open the door for our dates. I sighed. Addison still hadn't told him about the baby, and it just wasn't fair. He deserved to know. But as a friend of both of them, there was no way I could tell him. Right?

"Hey!" Addison gleamed, stepping into the house. She looked pretty and sophisticated, as always.

"Hey," we replied. I watched as Mark hugged her, his strong arms grasping her back. I caught her eyes and shook my head. She had to tell him.

But then Meredith slowly walked in and all thoughts of Mark, Addison, and babies disappeared. It was just her, just us. "Wow," I breathed, watching in awe as she turned around, revealing the most beautiful gown on the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.

She giggled. "You think?"

"Definitely," I smiled. "Let's go shall we?"

* * *

_Friday night. 7:30 PM_

Dear "Prom Journal",

So its prom and everything is exactly like I thought it would be. Kids are passing out left and right, freshmen are trying to get with the seniors, and everyone is literally going insane. Mark and Addison are nowhere to be found so it's just Meredith and I. It's been fun so far. The party hasn't really started yet, so when it does, I'll be sure to…uhm, clue you in? And in case I haven't already said this, this is the gayest idea my guidance counselor has ever had. But like I said I have to oblige. Anyway, about Meredith…I've never felt anything like this. She makes my stomach flip and does strange things to my brain. I think I'm in love with her, which is very weird for an 18 year old senior to say. But every time I look at her, I feel at ease, like everything is alright and perfect. Maybe one day I can tell her how I feel, but until then I think I'll just keep drinking the spiked punch.

* * *

"This is awesome DUDE!" a drunken Mark yelled through the swarm of students. 

"You're drunk," I replied, leaning against the wall.

"SO?" he spat, taking another sip of his punch. "It's punch."

"It's spiked."

He shook his head, swaying to something by Kanye. "Where's Meredith?" he asked, staring into his cup.

As I was about to answer, Principal Webber stepped onto the stage with a tiny envelope in his hands. _Oh my God…_

"Attention students..."

The loudness of the room instantly died down as everyone focused their eyes on that envelope

"As you know," he continued, "We are choosing our next prom king and queen tonight."

Shouts of joy and clapping erupted from the audience. But I remained firm, unable to move. I felt a hand on my back and instantly knew it was Meredith's.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," I replied, holding her hand.

"That's enough now," Webber's deep voice blared through the gym. "Now…I will first read your prom queen who is…" He removed a small letter out of the envelope and pressed his lips against the mike. "Isobel Stephens!"

Applause broke out amoung the students as Izzie's mouth dropped in complete shock.

"Oh my God Izzie that's great!" Meredith laughed, hugging her friend.

"I can't believe this," Izzie gasped, smiling at the many students congratulating her.

"And your prom king…" he spoke back up, reaching into the envelope, "is…Derek Shepherd!"

"Derek!" Meredith screamed, hugging me. "That's so great!"

I finally let my breath out, but for some strange reason, I didn't feel like I thought I would feel. I thought I would feel like the luckiest guy on the planet, but in reality, I just felt like a regular student, someone who couldn't tell the person they loved how they felt.

"Congratulations Izzie and Derek!" Mr. Webber smiled, walking off the stage. But when he got off, someone else got on…Chris from the party from hell.

"Hey guys!" he yelled into the microphone, holding something…a book or journal of some sort. "Well as you know, I was homecoming king this year, so I will be passing on the crowns for prom king and queen. But before I do that I just happened to stumble upon something in the bathroom from our NEW prom king so I thought for the good of the class you might want to hear it…"

All eyes turned to me and I instantly knew the book he was carrying…

…my stupid, idiotic, gut wrenching prom journal.

_Holy shit. _


	18. Prom part 2

**A/N: SORRY SORRY SORRY! But here is the end…and a nice long one for you **

"Like I said, these are the wise words of _the_ Derek Shepherd," Chris said smugly, slowing turning the first page…

I would've run, I would've yelled, hell, I would've even knocked him out right there…but instead I just stood in place, watching the many eyes drift towards me. I just stood there, hand in hand with Meredith (who had absolutely no clue what she was about to hear.) The reason? I have no clue. But one tiny part of me thinks it's because I wanted her to know how I felt, and if I couldn't tell her…maybe the idiotic words in that journal could.

"HEY!" Meredith suddenly interjected, taking everyone by surprise, even me. "Chris what _are_ you doing?" she screamed, letting go of my hand. One by one, the voices died down to nothing as she stormed up to the stage and snatched the book right from his hands. "Did you have_ permission_ to read this?" she asked forcefully, shaking the book high in her hand.

"Listen cupcake, just hand that thing over. Trust me; Chris won't let anything happen to your sweet little boyfriend." He puckered up his lips and made "kissy" noises as the crowd erupted in laugher. "After all sweetie," he kept up, pulling the microphone close to his lips, "I know what _really_ happened with you at The Prep."

I watched as Meredith's eyes grew wide. "You wouldn't…"she whispered shaking her head.

He leaned in close to her face and it took every inch of me to prevent myself from leaping up and strangling him. Bringing the microphone back around to his mouth he decreed, "Oh I would."

The crowd hushed as curiosity took over them. I have to admit, even I was a little curious as to what he was talking about. After all, Meredith told me everything…hadn't she?

"Chris don't…" Her voice shook as she tried to grab the microphone away from his clammy hands.

"Hand the book over babe, and I _won't_…" A smile crept onto his menacing face as she reluctantly handed back my journal.

Once he had the book directly in his hands, his eyes fixed themselves onto the sea of students. "But, _Meredith_, I think your fellow classmates should know what happened…because you know, it's not everyday that a principal from a prestigious school as The Prep walks into an empty hallway and sees _you_ slipping a certain pink pill into that pretty little mouth of yours…"

Gasps were heard, mouths dropped, and I was almost on the verge of fainting

"You know what I'm talking about right…_birth control_?"

Okay too late, I _had_ fainted.

* * *

I awoke on a very uncomfortable puke green couch while Principal Webber, Addison, Mark, and Patricia hung over me, the perspiration from their frantic bodies filling my nostrils. I placed the palm of my hand to my head and grimaced at the pounding of my head, made worse by the unmistakable smell. As I tried to get up, Mark's arms held me back down.

"Don't get up dude," he instructed, looking at Principal Webber who was slowly inching my head up with his strong hands.

"Mark, get me a cold towel please…" he asked, helping me all the way up.

Mark nodded instinctively, then followed Patricia into a dark, stuffy, extremely small room.

"How you feeling?" Addison questioned, sitting down next to me.

"I need an Aspirin," I groaned, rubbing my head. "What…what happened?"

Addison looked worryingly at Richard who slowly backed out of the room. "I'll leave you two alone," he managed before slipping away.

"Where's Meredith?" I asked as soon as he disappeared.

Addison shook her head, her eyes sad. "She ran off after…after what happened. No one's seen her since."

"Was she, I mean, how was she?" I stumbled over my words, so many thoughts filling my brain.

"Embarrassed, shocked, hurt…" Addison listed all the possible adjectives she could've felt and I prayed that she would stop.

"Okay, okay…I get it." I stopped her after "terrified."

She sighed. "How do _you_ feel?"

"Embarrassed, shocked hurt…" I trailed off. "I can't believe it. She got _expelled_. I thought she just wanted to leave the school. She actually got expelled over taking _that_!" My eyes began to sting, and I knew the tears were coming soon…

"Neither can I," Addison agreed, pressing her fingers against her stomach. "But uhm…I told my dad…about the baby."

"What did he say?" I asked protectively, knowing how old fashion her parents were.

"They're disappointed to say the least…but supportive." She strung her fingers through her hands, a nervous habit she always did. "I could try and find Meredith for you."

"Did you tell Mark yet?"

"You're pregnant?" Mark asked horrified, the wetness from the towel dripping down his hand.

"Oh my God Mark…" Addison panicked, standing up abruptly. "I, I…"

"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" He yelled, tears filling his eyes.

"MARK IT'S YOURS!" she screamed back, the tears traveling down her face. "You're the father…" she whispered, turning around and running into the bathroom.

"Oh my God," Mark repeated, sinking into a seat next to Derek, realization dawning on him. "Oh my God."

"I'm sorry man," I said, slapping him on the shoulder, my eyes drifting towards the bathroom. "I would have told you but she…"

"High school sucks," he let out after a moment of self doubt and humiliation.

"I know," I said back, agreeing whole heartily in the words.

"I'm going to…I'm going to get some air," he stuttered, swaying side to side as he made his way toward the glass doors, his eyes avoiding the bathroom.

I placed my hands on my eyes, running them through my hair. What had happened in there? Had Meredith been lying to me all this time? Was she seeing other guys? Why wouldn't she tell me any of that? She loves me, she should have told me! She loves _me_…doesn't she?

Hearing muffled cries from the bathroom; I slowly got up and headed towards the door to check on Addison. As I opened the door slightly, I saw Meredith's reflection in the mirror. She was crouched down, hands over her face, crying hysterically as Addison massaged her back.

"Shhh its okay Meredith," Addison cooed.

"NO it's HORRIBLE!" she sniffled, "I haven't even had sex yet! It's for my period! But no one is going to believe that!" she cried, burying her face deeper into her hands.

"Derek will," Addison reassured her. "They all will if you tell them."

"NO THEY WON'T!" she screamed. "This is what happened at my last school! They all thought _I_ was a slut! My mom basically disowned me! She still hasn't spoken to me! And the principal thought I was nothing but a liar! And _apparently_ it didn't matter even if it was for that because you are not allowed to have drugs in school without permission but it's so embarrassing that I haven't gotten my period yet that I didn't want to tell anyone and _NOW_!" The crying continued.

I heard Addison sigh as she took Meredith's face in her hands and said slowly, "Well I'm pregnant so _this_, right here, it's nothing! You are going to be fine! But me, oh me?! I'm having a baby! A baby, Meredith! I'm scared, terrified! But I'm not crying…I'm going through with this. I'm facing it and sticking up for myself which is what you need to do."

The crying stopped as Meredith clasped her hands over her mouth. "Oh Addison, I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be sorry…just go out there and tell everyone what's really happening with you."

A few more sniffles, a big sigh, and Meredith was ready to tell everyone what was really happening, what she really felt…and, in that moment, so was I.

* * *

Walking back into the gymnasium, I knew Chris told them about my prom journal. I knew he told the entire school my feelings for Meredith. I knew that all of the juniors and seniors knew about how I felt…everyone that is, except Meredith. But that was going to change. I tried my best to ignore the glares and snickers as I walked up to the microphone. Grabbing it from Chris's hands I spoke loud and firm. "Okay everyone, I know I'm the laughing stock of the entire school, I know you all think my girlfriend is a slut, I know you are probably saying I'd hate to be him right now but you know what? I don't care. You hear me…I DON'T CARE!" I paused, my eyes landing on Meredith who had just walked in, eyes blood shot, dress ruined, and mascara running down her soft face. I nodded at her, letting her know it was okay. "And you know why I don't care? I have the strongest, most beautiful, intelligent girl in the world, and I don't care what you say about it. You want to call me a sap? Fine with me. You want to call me a loser? I'm fine with that too. But what I don't want you to do is call the girl I _love_ a slut because she is not one." I looked back down at her. Her eyes were glistening with tears and a smile was spreading across her face. "Prom is embarrassing," I continued. "I bet everyone in here has had something embarrassing happen to them right now. But if you did, would you want that to be broadcast to the whole school? The answer I hope would be no. For me, that prom journal was my embarrassing moment because I'm a guy. Guys don't express their feelings. Why should I? But you know what? I'm in love and I used to care what all of you thought. I used to care what _she_ thought. But now? Now I'm just relieved because _now_ you all know. If you don't like it, too bad. So call me a loser. I'm a loser because I love someone. I'm a loser because I found someone who helped me, someone who made my life make more sense. I pray that you all find that one day. And if you already have, then I guess that makes you a loser too. So here's to being a loser. And here's to hoping that I will always be one." To my complete shock, everyone…clapped! I smiled after a moment, realizing that people actually liked my speech. Relieved that I brought some justice to my name, I glanced around the gym. My eyes spotted Meredith. Jumping off the stage I ran up to her, hugged her, and spun her around…just like in the movies. She let out that amazing laugh of hers and kissed me. Breaking away she sighed, "That was the most amazing prom speech I have ever heard."

"You're the most amazing girl I have ever met," I smiled back, proud to be corny and sappy. After all this _was _prom.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and _You and Me_ by Life house blared through the speakers. "May I have this dance?" I asked, taking her hand.

"Of course you may," she smiled back, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"So…" I began, "Where are you going to college?"

"I'm still not sure yet," she grinned, spinning around.

"You haven't gotten your NYU acceptance letter yet?" I asked worriedly.

"Actually…" she giggled, pulling out a tiny envelope from her purse. "I brought it here for you to open."

"You want me to open it?" I asked, tracing my fingers along the paper.

"Yes, go on…" she urged me, her hands around my waist.

"Okay..." I began to slowly open the letter until the thin piece of paper dripped out. Picking it up, I scanned my eyes over the words.

"What does it say?!" she asked, jumping up and down. "Did I get in?!"

"Oh my God," I breathed, "YOU GOT IN!"

"AHHH!" she screamed, jumping into my arms. "Oh my God, oh my God!!" she laughed. "I can't believe this!"

"So that means your going right?" I double-checked. "Cause I'm doing the summer program there and if your not with me then there are going to be some serious-"

Thank God she shut me up with that kiss.

_Dear Prom Journal, _

_So maybe prom night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After all, Meredith and I are both headed off to NYU, Mark and Addison are taking responsibility for the baby, and my summer program is starting soon. I already changed my major to pre-med (much to my parents liking), and Meredith is even considering changing herself. I really love her, which I know I've said ten thousand times but I can't help it. Prom made me understand that it doesn't matter what others think, you just have to say what's on your mind, tell the truth. Meredith and I both had our share of embarrassing moments. But I think that made us closer in the end. After all, I think prom is pretty much about embarrassing moments. So there you have it, my glorious prom journal. It is because of you that Meredith knows how I feel so… thank you! And about winning prom king, eh, it's nice and all…but nothing like loving Meredith, which is surprising considering how hung up on it I was a couple months ago. But I've changed, and for the better. _

_PS: I guess I did give a prom speech after all…_

**A/N: There we go the end. I hope you liked it. I didn't want Derek to be the only one with an embarrassing thing, so I had Meredith have an embarrassing thing and that's something they shared together at prom night (and my friend's sister has to take birth control cause she doesn't have her period yet so that's real, not fake ) So yeah, they all lived happily ever whatever! **

**Thanks to all my reviewers I love you all!!**

**Check out my others stories too! For example, Broken and the upcoming sequel…Broken Hearts. Thanks again!!**


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